The end is coming.

And so, new beginnings arise and we will never be the same again.

Well, what can I say about 2011? It was a very fruitful year, I gained and strengthened friendships, discovered more about myself and experienced many different emotions under various circumstances. It has taught me much, I must say, and made me grow into a better person. Before this, I didn't how to say no, and this trait just made me more miserable than ever because it's hard to keep everything inside from bursting. I was once afraid of ill judgments being passed on me, hence I was quite self-conscious and didn't speak my thoughts much. I think friends around me know clearly that once upon a time the word 'sorry' would always come tumbling out of my mouth every few seconds or so. I did that partly because I felt bad I couldn't meet up with their expectations, and that I wished they wouldn't judge me because of the mistakes and wrong things I said.

But, I have learnt better this year. I want to thank my one of my best friends, Denise Tan for helping me find myself and letting me just be myself and let loose once in a while whenever we go out on Friday afternoons to Mr. Chua's physics classes. Throughout those few hours we always had many great laughs, shared our few darkest secrets and always always told each other our feelings and what was on our minds. No barriers. I can't thank you enough darling, because I have learnt that the world isn't going to end just because I did something wrong or said something I assumed was offensive.

I also wanna thank my friends for accepting the change in me this year. I was also quite shocked myself when Siok Zhao suddenly commented one fine day in class that I stopped saying 'sorry' recently. But, nothing happened. They accepted me for who I am and laughed along whenever I teased them for their actions.

Accepting oneself isn't easy, and neither is being proud of who you are too. But I'm slowly working towards that, it's my ultimate goal at the other end of the road. I've accepted that sometimes we can't be perfect, and that we shouldn't judge people for their likes and preferences because we might one day change and become like them.

In short, you don't do what you don't like people to do to you.

Better time management, experience, moderation... these are only a part of what 2011 has taught me.

So, thank you, 2011. Thanks for being such a happening year and allowing development within myself. This is the most eventful and fruitful year I've ever experienced throughout my 17 years of existence, the most hectic one being 2010. Life couldn't have offered me a better chance to grow and keep growing and continue my journey of self discovery.

Bye, I won't forget you, 2011. See you when I see you.

And I would live again, live the way I've been, I would tell the world the truth. — If I could fly.

I'm feeling an immense pang of melancholy inside me somehow.

Gosh, I don't even know why I'm sad, I'm such a sad existence.

PMS maybe? I don't know, I don't keep track of my menstruation cycles, and what's worse my cycles are always changing and sometimes it doesn't come at all. But gah, who cares about that. Periods suck.

I wish I'll feel better tomorrow. I'd hate to end the year with a sad note.

I have been sleeping at 2 AM plus plus in the mornings for the last two days. Wait, no, I slept at two today and yesterday.

Gosh, I wonder how I'm gonna cope when school reopens (holy shit did I just type that?!) college starts on the 2nd. Heard we have an orientation with the seniors where we have to get signatures. Damn, I'm already so old next year, this ain't some MRC camp or the prefect orientation. Signatures indeed, I hate those.


I have to get my mind off the internet and those stupid HILARIOUS entertainment shows or else I won't be able to focus. Sigh.

2011 ending in... *counts with fingers* TWO DAYS.


WHOA.

I went there to escape from the people I didn't really want to see, but I ended up realising I'll be seeing most of them anyway.

Stupid shit, damn.

It's late. Or way early in the morning.

I'm turning into something I used to despise.

Like every other fandom, I just hope this dies down.

I used to hate look down abhor don't like those people in school who craze over K-Pop bands and and those wannabes who grow bangs and fringes (especially guys) just to look like the pop stars. Seriously people, those stars have professional image consultants and hair stylists who they pay the earth for just to get them good-looking and presentable (albeit slightly weird) to society, while you have none. Hence, stop trying to look like them, you're doing a terribly lousy job and every time I see those guys with uber long fringes covering half their faces in shopping malls I just feel like hitting them with all my shopping load. Do the world a favour and just be yourself. It's really frustrating to see guys who constantly flip their girly fringes and always make sure the fringe is in position to cover their foreheads. It is at times like these my fingers itch for a pair of scissors.

It ain't cool people. God knows why you're doing this to yourself. I'll never understand this. Why can't the whole world just shave our whole heads bald? Then baldies would be a common occurrence and people would stop asking if you have cancer when you shave your head. Seriously.

But that creepy behaviour is just for the obsessive people. I haven't gone to that stage yet, and I swear I never will (I already hate cosplay, much less this).

I just find it weird that suddenly I find a Korean band acceptable. I've had obsessive phases with various fandoms before actually, especially this year since I tend to procrastinate and run from stress and get distracted. My previous phase with some other fandom died down after a week, so I'm monitoring when exactly this phase I'm going through now will die down.

Then life can return to normal. Yay.

I still retain my sanity, but I just can't stop watching those funny entertainment shows about them and laughing my ass off. It's been so long since I had a good laugh, hence now I wonder whether I'm addicted to the music band or the feeling of laughing itself. Wait, that was a contradictory statement. I guess my sanity's really gone. NO, WAIT- Gah, I think I'm in denial.

I still find it hard to accept this part of me. Is this considered a part of growing up? Sis went through this period before, same age, just a few months earlier than me (hence the numerous TVXQ posters plastered on our bedroom walls; they still creep me out every night). She got out of it, so I think I'll be fine. Well, at least I hope so.

I think I should just publish this post before I actually get second doubts. I've decided to blog about memorable events in my life after all so that I could look back when I'm older, so this crazy phase is a necessity I suppose.

But, since you guys are probably judging me now, I'll just dig on my grave since I'm already in so deep and post a picture of my current object of obsession interest.

LOL. That was a joke posted on Tumblr. The shot was probably taken during one of their live performances and photoshop-ed for humour. Here's a better picture.

Okay, I admit. He looks really feminine. Femininity seems to be the trend for Asian pop stars recently. BAD. Mankind is doomed, pun intended. I like his natural smile when he's not posing for pictures. Came across some of the poses he does for the camera when I was searching for decent pictures of him to include in this post and I was really tempted to puke, in a bad way. With all due respect, they look disgusting. Him being natural is much better thank you very much.

I still can't believe I'm doing this. The sky is falling and the world is ending in !@#$%^& days.

She's fine most of the time
She takes her days with a smile
Moves like a dancer in light
Spinning around to the sound
But sometimes she falls down

Breathe, just breathe
Take the world off your shoulders and put it on me
Breathe, just breathe
Let the life that you live be all that you need

She likes New York at night
She dreams of running away
Shine on bright like the sun
And even the sky turns gray
I need you to hear me say
I need you to hear me say

Breathe, just breathe
Take the world off your shoulders, put it on me
Breathe, just breathe
Let the life that you live be all that you need

Let go of our fear, let go of our doubt
Let go of the ones who try to put you down
You're gonna be fine, don't hold it inside
If you hurt right now then let it all come out

Breathe, just breathe
Take the world off your shoulders, put it on me
Breathe, just breathe
Let the life that you live be all that you need

Breathe, just breathe
Take the world off your shoulders, put it on me
Breathe, just breathe
Let the life that you live be all that you need

Let go of our fear, let go of our doubt
(Let the life that you live be all that you need)
Let go of our fear, let go of our doubt
(Take the world off your shoulders, put it on me)

I teared up at the balloon guy part. It's just too sad, 'will twist for food'. Such a beautiful, uplifting song. :')

Last Train Home, Gonna Make It Right, You and Me, 11:59. Ryan Star is the best.

Okay fine, so the only thing we got out of the 800th chapter of Detective Conan was a narrow-down of who Bourbon could be?! GOOD LORD Aoyama Gosho, I EXPECTED BETTER OF YOU.

Damn you. You could've given us something better. Oh well. My guess is that Bourbon is Subaru, because Vermouth did mention that at least Bourbon gained some trust for some time in the chapter, and Haibara did loosen up to Subaru in the next chapter (she was downright paranoid of the guy since the time he was introduced to the series). Plus, there were quite a few suspicious hints of Subaru being Bourbon, one of the obvious being him drinking a glass of bourbon in the early parts when he was first introduced. Plus, Haibara is like, a sworn enemy of Vermouth, so of course Vermouth would say that because Subaru gained Haibara's trust. And then she'll edge in and kill her.

It's impossible for Sera to be Bourbon, because in chapter 801 she saw a glimpse of Akai Shuichi (maybe?) and ran after him but only to lose him, thinking that it must be impossible. Hence, she could be Rena posing as a student to infiltrate the school. No wait, wasn't she an undercover agent in the Black Organization for the CIA? So Vermouth could've been talking to her.... Gah. She has equal suspicion. Vermouth mentioned about some promise Bourbon made to her, so maybe Rena promised to be loyal or something? NO WAIT. EPIPHANY HERE. Wasn't it Rena who informed Conan and the gang about some new guy named Bourbon in the Organisation??? IN THAT CASE, SERA ISN'T BOURBON!!!!

B-U-T, that whole case will only stand if Aoyama Gosho confirms that Sera is indeed Rena. Bleh. Bzzt bzzt~~~

Just read about a theory that Sera could be Akai Shuichi's sister. AND THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE. About the chasing-after-scarred-Akai-Shuichi and the not-the-Bourbon-suspect theories. Plus, their eyes look so similiar! Definitely siblings in my opinion.

As for Amuro... Nah, it can't be him. True, the new guy is the most always the most suspicious in most cases, but why would he help Kogoro with the computer password by sticking the hint under the table when he pretended to adore Kogoro so much? He acts dumb in front of Kogoro and co., but secretly he knows what's going on. Hmm. Suspicions suspicions... Gah. Don't think it's him. I sense another Hondou Eisuke case here.

Wow. A whole post about the possible Bourbons. It's been a long time since I had a rant about manga.

:/

You know what? DC's been going on for so long now. I think Aoyama Gosho's just wants to finish the series with 1000 chapters, so he's just adding as much cases as he can with slight plot development until he reaches maybe 900++ chapters and then BAM! he starts putting the pieces together. That's what I think. If not, I do sort of feel that the series is kinda dragging a bit too long now. Dude, even Inuyasha ended last year! DC, with all due respect, I do hope you come to a conclusion soon. Oh Conan, just turn back into Shinichi already! I'm starting to lose hope in you, you know?!

20.12

Next year.

We'll see.

Right now, all I know is that I am very, very tired.

Sometimes, life gets to a point where not even a single object of interest of yours can comfort you or help you cope with your exhaustion/emotions whatever shit you want to call it. When you're stuck in a dilemma, how do you know which way is the best for you? The correct path for you? How do you know that you won't make a mistake when you choose one?

The answer is simple. You sit and meditate and find inner peace within your mind before searching for the answer? But what if you can't shake off that horrendous turmoil boiling and churning in your mind? What if you can't find peace?

I want to sit back, relax and enjoy too. I don't want to rush for deadlines again so fast and board the roller coaster ride again when my previous ride had just ended a second ago. Sometimes, people just really need to cool off.

I am tired.I wish I wasn't torn in between and didn't have to care so much. If only.

13.12.11

A day for spring cleaning, sort of. I'm just rearranging my manga bookshelf and cleaning up all my test papers and reference books. Not fun at all I tell you.

I'm still kind of tired from the Singapore trip. Three nights there and I never really got enough sleep because I couldn't turn on my phone (an incoming message would cost me three freaking bucks for God's sake) and my iPod did not have an alarm application. So in the end it was down to my human clock. The first night I kept waking up to check the time, three o'clock, four, then five before I finally gave up and woke up at six. It was exhausting. The second night didn't help much, slept at midnight after a whole day's walking and only got like, five hours of light sleep. As for the third night, I slept pretty late as well and got woken up by my cousin at three or four in the morning because he had to take something from his drawer (my sis and I slept in his room, and I took the floor beside his closet) and got insomnia for an hour. Huzzah, the bags still haven't gone away, yet.

But, it was a very, very fruitful trip. I explored A LOT of Singapore and got to know places I wouldn't have if I didn't go. The art exhibition was amazing, and the guide explained the paintings very detailedly in a way I never thought of before. And the Chinese Music Concert at the Esplanade was just too awesome, sigh. My cultural/art side has grown a bit more, yay!

Will post the pictures I took on Facebook. But for now, I have to get back to cleaning.

See you when I see you.

Places I'd like to go before 2012:

-the French Impressionism and Post-Impressionism art exhibition at the Singapore National Museum - Dreams and Reality: Masterpieces of Painting, Drawing and Photography from the Musee d'Orsay, Paris. (Sorry, can't do the French 'e' letter thing for the word 'Musee')

-Universal Studios Singapore with Charlene, Zhi Wen, Noelle and co.

-Johor Premium Outlets with my parents.

-Comic Fiesta 2011 at the KLCC Convention Centre

-Kinokuniya

-Orchard Road a few days before Christmas (the lights!!! The pretty lights!!!)

And that's all, for now. The list will grow, eventually.

Pokemon movie marathon!!!!! Here I come!!!

Wait, I have to organize my iTunes first. It's in a mess. Damn.

Holy shit yesterday was my four year anniversary on blogger! One day late, but never mind!

Happy anniversary dear blog! Funny, four years ago I started something that will play a huge part in my life (thanks to Chua!) and now four years later another part of my life officially ends. Huzzah.


Dear blog, here's to always listening to my rants and raves! Cheers! Would toast champagne with you but as seeing you're a piece of virtual website made up of HTML codes and all that jazz, and the fact that I'm underage, we'll skip.


Four years, I can't thank you enough.

:')

fin.

Freeeeeeeeedom. Huzzah! I am out of this shit-hole! Yesh! *cue victory dance*

Chapter highschool has officially ended. From next year onwards it's gonna be a whole new chapter in my book of life: college and A-levels. Where most of my friends I've known for five years will not be there and I will meet new aquaintances. But that's next year. For now, I just wanna enjoy life after SPM and accomplish most of the post-SPM activities on my list.

You need the bad times to appreciate the good times, this is one of the best things I have learnt in my five years of high school. To me, high school is really one of the most memorable times of my life. I've learnt and grown so much in such a short period of time, made great friends, and understood so many things in life that I never ever thought of before. I thank Convent for all it has offered me, and my teachers and friends for providing me the opportunity to learn and grow up the best way I could in school. And most importantly, I thank God for letting me have the chance to study in Convent, for I am sure if I stayed on in some rotten anonymous school I definitely would have been a different person.

Today was the last day I wore a uniform of white and blue. Starting from next year, it'll be all shades of grey with different hues.


I won't forget.

fin.

Detective Conan Movie 16: The Eleventh Striker

Woohoo! Damn, I haven't even watched the 15th film yet. :/ Strangely enough, I understood the unsubbed teaser trailer!!! Yay! My Japanese has improved!

Not. The trailer only had a few basic words only. Oh well. SO HYPED FOR THIS MAN. HUZZAH! But I feel the computer effects weren't done so well this time, the field looked so fake. :S

Aha! I've got it! I'm gonna have a Pokemon movie marathon after SPM!!! One can NEVER, EVER be too old for Pokemon. It's almost my childhood! 'Almost' because on Saturday and Sunday mornings I can't watch the cartoons on Kids Central (there was no Okto that time) because I had to go for tuition classes. And if I'm lucky enough, I can only catch a few snippets of the episodes. Sad.

Huzzah! And along with Pokemon I'm gonna watch The Girl Who Leapt Through Time too. And the list will grow, eventually. I have to write it down because strangely enough, after Biology I forgot all my post-SPM activities. Shocker, I know. It's like my brains have been blown up scattered along with the pieces of my school textbooks. Ugh.

Nothing's up much recently, just the sky and the ceiling and stuff.

Nah, kidding. I'm almost done with SPM, only Lit and Chinese left. Woots! Have been procrastinating to send work to Anbalagan though, which is NOT a good sign because I'd hate to regret it IF I don't get my A, or at least, an A minus.



On a side note, Boys Like Girls is back from hibernation!!! Yes!!! Record threeeee! Wheeeee! But Bryan's left, sad. No more bassist to assist (lol). I watched their video update like, a week ago on YouTube, and they really seemed bummed that they had to move forward without him. Doubtless their next album will be weird without Bryan, but I think it'll be awesome all the same. There was a snippet of one of their potential songs on their upcoming album at the end of the video, and it sounds wonderful.

I can't wait for the very first single! And John Keefe twitted that the third album is totally worth waititng for. Yay!

I think I've blogged about this before. But oh well. Was gonna start on my Add Maths, but then mum wanted me to check the dates so we could make plans for the trip. BUT THEN THE BRAT JUST HAD TO GET AN INVITATION FOR HIS BEST FRIEND AND HIS BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION (which, as family, I am obliged to attend) .

So right now, plans aren't concrete yet. I wish I could go. This year marks the 10th anniversary of CF, and they have LOTS OF GOODIES in store for us this year, such as:

• A SOUTHEAST ASIAN PREMIERE OF THE NEW MAKOTO SHINKAI FILM: Hoshi Wo Ou Kodomo (Children Who Chase Lost Voices From The Deep Below)
• A TEN-YEAR-ANNIVERSARY COMIC FIESTA ART BOOK - CHAM: The Comic Fiesta 2011 Art Book

Okay, two goodies. BUT THEY'LL KICK ASS I'M SURE. Never mind the Makoto Shinkai FIRST Southeast Asian premiere (it has a night time slot so I'm not sure if my parents are as hyped up as I am to stay back at the end of the day), but the art book is to kill for. I love art books because they're special, but they're like super expensive so they're hard to buy. But I just have to have this, because it's a milestone for ACG history in Malaysia (a historical piece, in my opinion). I already have my kiDChan art book which I bought in 2009, so this is a must!

I hope I can go. KLCC Convention Centre, I'm guessing it's near Suria KLCC (KINOKUNIYA!!!!!! DROOL) so once we're done maybe we can pop by Kino.

On a side note, I've rediscovered my love for Alive: The Final Evolution. It's a bad time to be hooked on to manga now, because SPM isn't even 3/4 quarters done yet! As much as I want the whole series, expenses are on a standstill right now. I'm saving for my KL trip (if we actually get to go) so I don't have to rely on my parents as much when I want to buy stuff. I'm looking forward to lots of button badges and bookmarks in CF, and if we get to go to Kino, god knows how many books are there to buy on my list.

And maybe, maaaayyyyybbeeeee I can get a Wacom tablet in CF if they have a promotion!!! EEK!!

Damn, I'm all excited right now. I should calm down and prepare myself for disappointment, because the plans aren't solid yet. I don't mind going alone though. It can be a one day trip, as long as I have directions and money. Lots and lots of money, so if I get lost I can hail a cab to get me to my destination.

My fingers are itching to click on the 'attend' button on the CF Facebook page, but it'll have to wait. So here's to hoping I get to go!!! And hopefully I'll get to see more booths that sell stuff I like and want. (2009 was kind of a disappointment for me, the only great thing about it was the kiDChan booth. Oh well.) Fingers crossed!!!

I WILL SURVIVE SPM. 5 DOWN, 6 MORE TO GO.

*8/12 edit: Ceui is coming the CF' 11!!!! I loved her songs from Munto and Sola! Eek!*

20.11.2011

Phew, just in time. I didn't even realise the special date today.

Four down, seven more to go. 7th December, I anticipate your arrival.

the beginning at the end, until the cycle starts all over again and new beginnings emerge after the end.

Okay, so tomorrow's the day, the start of a horrifying period where I am supposed to study for my dear future. Yet, here I am blogging, going on the net, something I'm not supposed to do.

As a matter a fact, it's getting pretty late by major-exam-bedtime standards, and I am supposed to be in bed or reviewing my last page of idioms for the damned BM tomorrow. But oh well.

I won't jinx myself by saying anything bad now (despite how close I was a moment ago), so I'll just leave everything in God's hands and pray I'll do fine. I'm counting on you, myself, so don't disappoint me. I know you can do it.

11.11.11

You have no idea how long I had to wait until my brother fell asleep to be able to beg my mum to gt the modem out just to record this historical date that only comes once a thousand years just on this stupid blog. I just thank god I'm on time to catch this date.

Studying sucks. Exams suck. Urgh. 11 years of formal education is a long time. I grew up, I learned, I experienced. But even so, here's to hoping that things will get better from here. 11, 11, 11, 11.

See you when I see you.

1.11.11

Said I wouldn't but I did anyway. Special dates like today deserved to be recorded. Expect the last on next Friday! Six ones!

Somewhere during noon, my doorbell rang. And that was the moment, I knew it. THE BOOKS HAVE ARRIVED!!!!! BLESS KINOKUNIYA!!!!!! I totally launched into squeal mode and would've been hyperventilating if it wasn't for my mum standing beside me as I signed the paper and received my parcel. I had to suppress my grin all the way and keep myself from jumping all over the house. EEEK! I never felt more excited than ever that moment. And behold!!!! It's photo time!!!!!

Squeal~~~ This is the first time I've received books in a box!!!!! Usually it's wrapped in a big envelope and gosh! They even have styrofoam!!! (Though I can't figure out what I'm gonna do with them now that I've opened the box and it's served its purpose....)

Ta da! Isn't it amazing? Ooh! The new book smell. Wheee!

Bwahahaha! My light novel collection. Now all I need is that Shinigami no Ballad volume 2, 11 and 12. I need to read them chronologically or I'd feel weird.

Okay, I suppose this is the last post before I go off for a very, very long break from the Internet. Sigh, sometimes, I really hate life. But it's the times like these (the feeling of joy I get) that make up for the sucky-ness of life.

It's been great having the Internet. I'll definitely miss it until I come back in mid-December. Until then, so long!!!

Warning: Spoilers galore. In this post. Right ahead. Read at your own risk.

Rick Riordan, oh how I wish I could skin you alive right now. HOW COULD YOU? GOSH, PERCY AND ANNABETH DIDN'T EVEN MEET IN THE END. GOOD LORD, I MIGHT AS WELL DIE THIS VERY INSTANT. I WAS LIKE, ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT THE ENTIRE TIME READING THE BOOK WITH PERCY AND HIS ADVENTURES, WAITING FOR THE DAMNED REUNION AND IN THE END ALL I GET IS A "C'mon let's go meet my other family" AND IT ENDS THERE? LORD, CAN I PLEASE SMACK YOU AND DEMAND TO READ CHAPTER ONE OF THE NEXT BOOK NOW?

Now I'll have to wait till next year, great. Just great. Oh well, at least this book beats the last one by miles. Percy and his old humour is back!!! The humour is what grips me to the series, because somehow, Rick Riordan just manages to make a serious situation appear funny yet retain is all-glorious seriousness at the same time. ARGH! I'd love to skin the guy right now but he's like, the key person in releasing the next book in the series so I'll spare him. For now.

I bet the next book leaves us in another fucking cliffhanger as well. Damn.

My speculation for the next book is that Annabeth plays a HUMUNGOUSLY IMPORTANT role in the story, as suggested by the title itself 'The Mark of Athena'. It's gotta be her, because the goddess is addressed in her Greek form, not some stupid Roman name even though the counterpart does sound nice I suppose. (I hate the Roman camp system. It's so... sheesh. Camp Half-Blood rocks to the very core.) I bet the next story's gonna be about finding some 'Mark of Athena' and going on another quest and destroying another one of Gaea's spawn of Satan. No doubt about that. And the Roman campers would probably be pissed at the Hermes kids (look up the Stoll Bros) for raiding the equipment shack too. Clarisse will fit in fine, if she doesn't, it's because of that horrible temper of hers anyway. And angry sparks fly between Jason Grace the playboy, Reyna the banshee and Piper the foolish. Nah, just kidding about the nicknames. I didn't really like the new characters of The Lost Hero to begin with, except for Leo, cos' he's awesome (duh). Jason can go and die for all I care. Percy rules.

Speaking of characters, I hated, hated the way Octavian was depicted in TSoN. When I first looked at his picture in the character reveal, he looked really moody and I just imagined him to be some mentally disturbed kid who likes chopping up stuffed teddies and refusing to help Percy and his friends, until the very end where he shows his awesome prophesying prowess and helps Percy to defeat the monster, being one of the good guys. NEVER did I imagine him to be a pompous brat who's slimy, manipulative, cunning and oh, I don't know, irritating to the realms of hell? Besides, Octavian sounded like such a nice, awesome name, and the guy just had to have such bad traits. Sigh. But oh well, Frank makes up for it. He's so adorable, despite the fact that I don't understand some of the chinese terms they use in the story. Being chinese myself, I feel kind of ashamed. It even took me a while to related his surname 'Zhang' to arrows!

The next book had better be good, and Rick Riordan had better release the preview fast or else he'll have hate mail bombarding his letter box. Or I'll just fly over to Texas and hold him at gunpoint to allow myself to have a nice read. *Insert snigger* Kidding.

Pictures of my parcel arriving on my doorstep will be posted next, which I am going to do so now. When I think of it, I still can't help but grin. XD

Rick Riordan mentioned in his blog that there was a reason he ended the book that way. You know, I'm really starting to think that the Agro II got hijacked at the last hour of their journey right after Leo sent the message to Camp Jupiter that they'd be arriving soon. And then the Romans will be pissed at Percy because they thought he was lying that the Greeks come in peace even though Percy didn't have a clue the ship was hijacked. Or maybe the Greeks will be fighting their enemies onboard and the Romans will join the fight and Percy will blast the enemies off with water to kingdom come. But if everything goes wrong Percy will be forced into exile (okay, maybe not) and the Romans will start hating him and Octavian will start scheming again. Great, just great. Rick sure loves messing with our minds. The preview and cover reveal for TSoN was in May this year, so here's to hoping that the cover and chapter preview for the next book will be in early May. Phew.

My life is all about anticipating and dreading things and days, I realised. I anticipate the day a books gets published, I anticipate it arriving at the closest bookstore to my house, I anticipate the days chapters of my favourite stories and manga are posted on line, I anticipate Fridays, I dread Mondays, I dread exams and stress, and the list goes on.

It's kinda sad. Is life all about looking foward? I anticipate things and days because they bring me happiness and joy. After all, they are my favourite things. But is there more to life than this? Oh well, who knows.

Sadly, I haven't been studying much for the past two days. Holidays are ending, and everyone's pretty much studying their asses off. But, amongst the busy days and interruptions I get when I finally was going to study, I've been reading about stress management, a book my parents bought me a way long time ago. Back then, I was still a kid and didn't understand, and self-help books just wasn't appealing to an ignorant kid like me. But now, I somehow find them comforting, like before I get some shut eye I would just reach for The Secret by Rhonda Byrne and read a few pages until I'm really tired. Last time I checked, I didn't even care about books like that. But anyways, coming back to my point, I'd like to quote a few lines from Fighting Invisible Tigers: A Stress Management Guide For Teens by Earl Hipp.

There is no stress in the world.
Repeat: there is no stress in the world.
Surprised? Think about it. Where would you go looking for it if you wanted to find stress? The Gobi Desert? South Wales? Chengtu, China?
Stress is something that happens inside of people - inside of you. It's the result of how you perceive and interpret the challenges you face.

See? How true that is! When I first read that, I experienced a serious case of jaw-drop because it made so much sense. You can't deny that. Hands down to you Earl Hipp.


Two more days to go. Expect an excited post on Friday because finally, the books I have been waiting for A YEAR is going to arrive on my doorstep that day. And after that post, I think it's goodbye to the Internet until December cos' I've decided I'm handing my iPod to my parents for safekeeping. It's too much of a distraction, really, because it's just so easy to go on the Internet with this thing, like how I'm doing now.

Okay, maybe I'll make Saturdays an exception. Maybe. Who knows?

For Greater Good.

Perseverance is the key to success, I keep telling myself that.

But somehow, the fear of making mistakes just doesn't go away, despite the fact that I have the chance of correcting them.



I am drenched in cold sweat.

Lots of people say that they have stuff they look foward to in 2012. Well, for me I have already listed what I have in my expectations for 2013, despite it being 2011 only right now.

JUST ONE DAY by GAYLE FORMAN is one of them, and JUST ONE YEAR in 2014. This is gonna be the longest time I have to wait for
a book to be published. Usually the ones that are published in alternate years are in series, so I don't mind that much. But GAYLE FORMAN, what does it have to take you like, more than a year to complete a freaking book? This had better be good.

And she's releasing a Where She Went with bonus material paperback version in spring 2012!!! Gah!!! I want the bonus material......... T.T

Gah, so tired. Hence the weird, choppy post. I apologise.

Kino rocks, need I say more?

They have like, the US hardcover edition of TSN so soon!!!! Beats MPH by lightyears dudes! And judging by their price after my inquiry, it must be a first edition one!!!! Wheee! PLUS, (here's like, the best part which I LOVE about them) they're having incoming shipments of The Truth about Forever next week!!!!! Or at most, the week after the next. The guy told me that it would arrive the earliest on the 27th. WHEEEE! HOW CAN YOU NOT LOVE SUCH A F*CKING AWESOME BOOKSTORE?

Next time, when I'm filthy rich, I will always travel up to KL just to go to Kinokuniya at least once every six months (assuming I'm still stuck in JB) and camp out somewhere near there. Nah, just kidding. I'll probably come and go on the same day. And when I buy lots and lots and lots of books I'll probably give the cashier a large tip cos' I'm feeling ridiculously high and happy off books cos' hey, I'm filthy rich aren't I? Dude, is it even possible anyway? XD

But anyways, I'll wait until next week to order. I've waited so long already, another few more days wouldn't hurt I suppose. Oh! And it's the 18th!!! Happy pub day Sara Zarr!!! I'm so looking forward to reading her latest work after SPM!

Sigh, so happy that I could write this down here. I don't think I could keep such joy from exploding in my heart because I'd be acting all bubbly and super weird and I'd get these looks from my parents who'll assume I'm some crazy shit high off drugs.

Yippeee! I'm so happy I'm gonna go study and do homework right now!!! Woots! Okies, gotta study or I can't buy the books! Byeeee~~~

The funny thing about life is that no matter how twisted and messed up it is, you can always find balance in it. You have the extremities - polar opposites; you have the cliched, overused concept of yin-and-yang (though it still applies). When something good happens, there will always be something bad that evens it out somehow. Which brings me back to my point.

No, don't worry, this ain't another emo post, I've experienced enough emo shit in these three weeks to last me a lifetime, so no more of that. For now.

Anyways, coming back, this post is here simply because me, being the stupid girl I am, decided to hop over again to Rick Riordan's blog where I constantly keep up with his posts so I get information firsthand from the man himself. It was a fruitful trip, but as I mentioned above, BALANCE IS EVERYTHING IN LIFE.

Two discoveries I've made during my trip: (SPOILER ALERT. BEWARE.)

1. THE HEROES OF OLYMPUS BOOK THREE IS GONNA BE NAMED 'THE MARK OF ATHENA'. WOOTS.

2. THERE IS A FREAKING CLIFFHANGER IN THE SON OF NEPTUNE. BOO.

GOD. WHY ARE YOU SO CRUEL TO ME? This COMPLETELY defeats the purpose of my perseverance to not read any spoilers regarding the much anticipated book. SUCH A DOWNER. After hanging on for more than a year, you think I wanna know that there's an ef-you-see-kay-ing cliffhanger before I even read the book? Lord.

Okay, it's not Rick's fault for being awesome. I mean, he's in the US, permanent resident (wonder if he's ever even heard of Malaysia), and I guess in a twisted sort of way he has a teeny weeny right to assume that everyone in the whole wide world has read the damned book. And it's my fault I was unaware he was gonna incorporate the comment about the cliffie like it's nothing big into his blog post. the hell it is. Lesson learned, never touch an author's blog before you've read his/her new book. It may contain spoilers.

Now that this unfortunate circumstance has occurred (much to my displeasure), I should just hop over to Wikipedia and read the whole summary.

WAIT, WHAT WAS THAT HORRIBLE, TERRIBLE THOUGHT THAT HAD JUST PASSED THROUGH MY MIND?

This book had better be good. Or else I'm demanding a rewrite. If the cliffhanger is about Percy finally meeting Annabeth and the other Greek demigods after a long chunk of crap his Roman adventures taking 9.9/10 of the book, Rick Riordan had better prepare his mailbox (and himself) for a load of hate mail.

Kidding. Doubt he'd read it anyway.

I've just realized I've been splurging for this whole month. BAD

What happened to self-restraint and control anyway? Oh, I know! It all flew out of the window the moment I lost my screws.

Now I reallyyy am craving for that Secret Recipe brownie. Gah! PMS.

Not supposed to be here but whateverrrrrrr.

God, I sound like those bimbos who just delight in overstessing the last letter of their words. Ew.

Anyways, coming back to my point. It just felt really vexing when I saw someone having the UK edition of TSN. Great, just great. We get books from the UK like shooting stars flying across the sky but when it comes the the US, we are as slow as turtles who can't walk on sand to save their own lives. Do we like, hate the US or something? What is it with our local bookstores? Some long-standing grudge? Meh. I most sincerely hope not. There are so many great, awesome authors and artists who I adore so much if something like that were to happen I don't think I could live it down. :/

Oh come on, just give me that US edition of TSN!!! I swear I won't take more than a day to finish the book! The sooner I get to know the story the sooner I get to study in peace. SPM!!!!! Somehow, a horrible, unspeakable thought had just passed by my mind.

Okay, rant's over. Byyeeeee.

Oh! It just hit me! Seven more days to the release of Sara Zarr's new book!! Wheeeee! (And why am I excited again? It's not like I get to read it till December or next year anyway.)

09.10.11

Next year it'll be 10.11.12.

October 4th.

Happy Pub Day Rick Riordan!!!! I just hope that someday Malaysia would actually get your books published on the same day as the US. Sigh.

I'm waiting for you, The Son of Neptune. And in the mean time, NO SPOILERS FOR ME.

And guess what? I'm an O+!! XD I thought I would be an A, but apparently not. Okay, here I come Matriculation Form!!!!

supposed to be studying but what the hell

OMG HOMEFRONT KICKS ASS DUDES WAY TO GO ARTEMIS!!!!

I love episodes with Robin in them, I get classic lines that make me laugh my ass off.

Sigh. Young Justice is love. YJ FTW!

identity crisis

I have lived for 17 years.

And I do not know my blood type.

Shoot, I can't believe I don't recgonise the substance that has been providing me oxygen and sustaining my body cells and tissues!

Crap, dear body, I have failed you. I apologise. Okay, tomorrow I am so gonna pester my mum to get me to a clinic to have my blood tested. I NEED TO KNOW MY BLOOD TYPE OR ELSE I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FILL IN MY MATRICULATION PROGRAMME FORM BY THE 10TH OF OCTOBER. ISH.

I can't believe it, how did I ever survive not knowing what was flowing inside of me even when I was still a foetus in my mother's uterus before I was born into this cruel world?

CLINIC. HERE I COME TOMORROW. FINALLY, SOME CLARIFICATION ON WHO I AM. Literally. Sigh.

Trials are OVERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

Fuck yeah! Woohoo!

Okay, I apologise for the uncouth language. But I'm just so excited, because I put in more effort than usual for trials even though I don't feel much importance about it, but think of the family!!! I want to see my family's proud faces once in a while (although my results are shit) but improvement never hurts! So whatever. Shit's over so there's no use crying over spilled milk.

Despite all the excitement, I am very, very tired as well. I slept only for three hours and a half max today (yes, today, I slept at two). Lit and Moral on the very same day equals insanity. Two memorising subjects. Two subjects that I expect myself to get the very least an A- in (to get more A's, what else?). I hope and pray that I do well in my exams!

And to top off the excitement, ta da!

Finally, a step closer to clearing off that list of my desires on the sidebar of my bloggie. It never seems to end, but I'm sure all those are worth the shot and wait to read.

I am grateful to those who have given me endless encouragement during my trials: ZW, CC (for being there when I almost had a breakdown the day before AM), CY, Sitoh, KL, LY, NK (for putting up with my ridiculous comments on FB when I was bored and procrastinating) and especially my parents. Rocky start especially on the eve of trials, but in the end it turned out all right. X)

Whoooooosh. I feel that breeze against my cheeks. But it's only a matter of time until it dies down and the tension (SPM!!!) starts riling up again. I should end this short break soon and get back to work so I can improve more.

Again, whooooosh! Wheeeee!

I sit in front of the computer, but the words don't come.

There is so much I want to pour out in these lines, but the words don't come as they do. They stop at the tip of my fingers, not ready to explode onto the keys and into this world.

It is all bottled up inside of me. I don't know why.

What is this feeling of melancholy stirring inside of me? It is indescribable, inexpressible, cannot be put into words.

Feelings and emotions are such strange things. Ironic. Contradicting.

myheartfeelslikeit'sgonnaburstfromallthesadnesslikeboomboomboom.

like supernova.

silently. soundlessly.


No one knows.

Just hopped over to Rick Riordan's blog for the latest character reveal for The Son of Neptune. GAH..... THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME. WHAT ON EARTH IS GONNA HAPPEN? I WANNA READ THE BOOOOOOOK.

I doubt Malaysia's gonna actually get it straight on the 4th of October. Gah. If they can have multi-billion copies of stupid sparkling vampires getting released spot on the release date, why can't they do the same for this AWESOMELY EPIC BOOK?

I wish I could pre-order or something. But I don't have the money money money. And who was it that said it's not about the money money money, we don't need you money money money?

Bleh. GAH..... Anonymous young adult books I can understand. But seriously? A world wide phenomenon that is equivalent to the Harry Potter series? Gah. Don't understand why people prefer sparkling weirdos and hairy half-humans better than the awesome set of characters in PJ that are gonna save the world.

And the thing about the hairy half-humans, ugh. It's like a twisted Remus Lupin in HP gone worse. And for me, that is an understatement. Sigh.

Oh October 4th, how you vex my poor nerves.

Halfway fighting through trials. Physics on Monday, Moral and Lit on Wednesday then it's "hooray-exams'-finally-over-but-wait-SPM's-not" time.

I will battle on. It's a dangerous, tiresome, exhausting world out there.


It's the hardships that make us cherish life more.

I AM GOING TO SCREW UP MY TRIALS. FUCK.

everybody hurts

don’t know, don’t know if I can do this on my own
why do you have to leave me
it seems I’m losing something deep inside of me
hold on, on to me

now I see, now I see

everybody hurts some days
it’s okay to be afraid
everybody hurts
everybody screams
everybody feels this way
and that’s okay
la da da da da da
that’s okay

it feels like nothing really matters anymore
when you’re gone I can’t breathe
and I know you never meant to make me feel this way
this can’t be happening

Now I see (now I see), now I see

everybody hurts some days
it’s okay to be afraid
everybody hurts
everybody screams
everybody feels this way
and that’s okay
la da da da da da
that’s okay

la la la la la

so many questions, so much on my mind
so many answers I can’t find
I wish I could turn back time
I wonder why

everybody hurts some days (some days)
everybody hurts some days (some days)
everybody hurts some days (some days)
it’s okay to be afraid (afraid)
everybody hurts
everybody screams
everybody feels this way
and that’s okay
la da da da da da
that’s okay

la, la, la, la

everybody hurts some days (some days)
it’s okay to be afraid (afraid)
everybody hurts some days
yeah we all feel afraid (it’s okay)
everybody feels this way but it’ll be okay
can somebody take me away (some days)
to a better place
everybody feels this way (it’s okay)

it’s okay
la, la, la, la
it’s okay
la, la, la, la
it’s okay
la, la, la, la
it’s okay.

Program line-up

It's the holidays. Well, not really. Trials are a week away, and for this whole stretch of holidays we're supposed to be like robots and study our asses off. Sad.

Sad to say, there are many things coming up soon. Holidays are gonna be used for intensive mugging, then it's exam-time for three fucking weeks, where on the 13th the much-anticipated new Kimi ni Todoke chapter will be released and after our trials, The Power of Six by Pittacus Lore will pretty soon be arriving in Malaysia. Oh! And Young Justice is finally getting new episodes starting from the 23rd of September! After the exams! Yay!

But, after our exams it'll be October already. Good lord. And SPM would be a month away from then, which means entertainment for me will cease until December. Holy cows the new Percy Jackson book is coming out in the 4th of October! Which means by the time it arrives in Malaysia SPM would've started.

Speaking of December, I should list down a few things I wanna do after that blasted exam. IN DECEMBER, I WILL:

• Watch Glee (to see what's making everyone so crazy about it)


• Watch Pride and Prejudice (the 1995 BBC adaption)


• Watch Kimi ni Todoke


• Re-watch Young Justice (all those episodes I'll be missing out on during SPM T.T)
  


• READ THE NEW PERCY JACKSON BOOK (which I think I should've ordered from Kino by then, I think)


• Attend Comic Fiesta 2011


• Write stuff


• Buy a Wacom Tablet (if I get good results for my trials, so that means I have to mug for it)

And the list shall add on. Gosh, I'm really getting ahead of myself, hallucinating about life after SPM when Trials haven't even started yet. Since when did my feet fly off the ground?

I should enjoy the remaining time I have for today, because I've decided I'm gonna relax for yesterday and today before starting my intensive study session for the whole week tomorrow, and then I'll relax in the car when I'm on the road to tuition classes, and in my grandma's birthday party, and the day when I go for a haircut before my trials.

Yup. That's pretty much my schedule. Meh. Life sucks. And there's nothing I can do about it. I should tell my sister to hide my iPod somewhere so I don't have access to the internet, thus eliminating all internet distractions.


Disclaimer: All pictures belong respectively to their owners on Tumblr. Click on my Tumblr page to view the original. Please, do not plagiarize and repost them as your own. Have the decency to add a disclaimer. Thanks.

isn't it sad you get hurt so much, you can finally say, "i'm used to it."

Life right now is like war. We're busy preparing for- wait, rephrase. We currently busy TRYING to prepare for our trials (our upcoming main enemy) while busy splitting ourselves into two dealing with homework (the pesky enemies that pop out of nowhere and interfere with our plans.) Or am I the only one who cares about homework?

Gah, shall try to ignore them and concentrate on my sciences, add maths, and humanities, which is basically everything. ENGLISH LIT O' ENGLISH LIT, THOU SHALT NOT BE IGNORED ANY LONGER.

Also, the inner battle of what I want to study in the future. I think it's pretty much obvious what I'm going to do. In the end, I'm just a pathetic coward who abandoned her dream she had since she was seven of studying the arts and instead opting to go with the norm just because she can't bear to face the resposibility of making the wrong choice.

There, I said it. Happy? Here's the thing, I'm not. But I'm not going to do anything about it, because it's hard standing up alone against the people who matter the most to you.

Of diarrhea and nausea

I'd choose fever or cough over those two any time.

My AM project is DONE. DONE FOR GOOD. NOW DON'T EVER COME BACK AGAIN I TELL YOU.

Or else I would gladly get the shredder and shred you into pathetic pieces.

Well, okay, not 'done done' yet, I still haven't handed it in. Might have some last minute changes here and there tomorrow, but 90 percent of it's done. Thank god.

esprit de corps II

Champions and 1st runner up. That's Convent to you! Finally, Law Olympiad is done and over with. So damn glad we upheld the school's reputation of being long-time winners!

Okay, now, add maths folio. But first, I should do something about the throbbing pain in my head.

SLEEP.

Law Olympiad on Saturday. And this, along with my much-procrastinated add maths project has been bugging me since forever, giving me hell nights in which I find it hard to sleep through. Okay, there are always exceptions where I get to enjoy myself and forget about it, but in the end reality is such a stubborn bitch in the butt and it still doesn't give up wanting to snap at you.

I've really been feeling down and low recently. The Harry Potter movie was okay. Read the book for more than five times so I knew what was going on, not much of surprises there. The only thing that surprised me was how they depicted Snape's love for Lily, how he hugged her and cry. In my imagination it wasn't like that, but the emotion in the movie was so, so raw I felt sad and depressed during those moments. One of the bad sides of the movie, Albus Severus Potter is too Bieber. Aside from that, no complaints here.

Anyways, coming back. I hate it when I get so stressed up myself. The pressure that everyone expects you to be champions in any competition. For me, I feel that living up to expectations is always the hardest thing in the world. They set the target for you (sometimes insanely and murderously high) and you can't help but feel... I don't know. Scared? Stressed? What if we fail? What if we don't live up to people's expectations and destroy our seniors' records?

I always tell myself that if I am stressed, I just have to de-stress myself. Simple as that. But I don't know why I can't seem to be able to do that now. Time is ticking away. And I know you're probably thinking 'time is slipping away why don't you stop bullshitting around and go do something useful and make yourself useful to society isn't of just sitting here whining like a baby you stupid bitch?'

I'm just so scared. It'd be all glorious and crap if we got first place but this is the price I have to pay.

I feel really heavy, like the past few days I've just been walking around aimlessly with my eyes closed/half-closed or something.
Ther should not be anymore fucking ECA programs after Law Olympiad. I'm sick of them right now I can literally vomit blood if there are anymore of them. I just really want some time of my own now, gearing myself up for trials and having a bland school life wihout fucking assignments to fucking finish and crapshit competitions or ECA activities to participate in.

Fuck this all.

I finished Delirium last night. Most of the novel strongly reminded me of The Giver. The whole rigid society, the inability to experience emotions, it all just kept me thinking of The Giver (Lois Lowry. It's an awesome book, perfectly poised and beautifully written). If I were to compare, I would definitely choose The Giver over Delirium because the way both books are written are different. But that just means it is unjust of me to compare. Sorry, I'm being paradoxical here. Oops. Anyways, in terms or the setting and such The Giver definitely won a place in my heart; the way it was written was just too... real in a sense that one can relate and actually feel themselves in that particular moment inside the book. Delirium was a bit... I don't know, it just made me feel that Lauren Oliver was so excited and trying to include every piece of information of her dystopian society inside the book that it just becomes unnatural. For me, that is. The Giver doesn't really show that much force of that sort of introduction. If there was one, it would've been subtly included in the story. I'm not faulting Lauren Oliver for anything like that, God no, i just wanted to say that as an amatuer writer myself, I have experienced this sort of feeling and situation before. How do I know? Well, looking back at those old documents stored in my computer, I only laugh at myself for the stupid writing style that made me sound like an over-eager puppy.

But still, I read on, trying to find a spot that would actually prove that my opinions were wrong and that this book deserved a chance after all those raved reviews from people who probably never read before The Giver. I was just flipping page by page, finding, and hoping that I wouldn't be disappointed. And I wasn't. In the end, the book managed to prove me wrong, somethig that I am
very happy about till this very minute. The ending was EPIC and excellently executed. It was so hauntingly beautiful. I kept reading on, the build-up and the build-up and the build-up waiting for that moment to happen, and it did. Yes, the ending was just epic. It is one of the best I have ever read that keeps you wanting more. I felt it then, the feeling that I was sucked into the book like how I experienced it in The Sky is Everywhere and If I Stay. It's a Romeo and Juliet love story plus The giver dystopian-in-disguise utopia.

There's a sequel coming out next year. And the cover is horrendously ugly. But, for the sake of the story, I will read it. I just hope that the cover I buy would be a nicer one. Teehee. Oh, and please, Lauren Oliver, with all my heart and utmost sincerity, I beg of you, NO LOVE TRIANGLES PLEASE. We do not want another Twilight or Bella Swan coming into the story and ruining the experience for us readers. Thank you.

Sleepy. The whole day I was in Newcastle Nusajaya visiting and paying attention before going for add maths. Right now, my brain is exhausted from all that so I think I'll sleep now. G'night

sometimes
when i am with them
the world seems to get
smaller and smaller
the walls closing in
until they come
crashing
down
on me

but when i am
alone
the horizons disappear
nothing seems to matter anymore
except for
the quiet whisper of the wind
telling me
that

i am
free.

I've been blogging so much about books lately that it scares me. Shouldn't I be slaving over add maths or trying out some Lit exercises to better myself as seeing these subjects need constant attention? It's really frightening the way everyone's starting to freak out over our trials, even thought they are a month or two away from the present.

Wait. Holy crap. I'm gonna sit for my trials and I have not study one bit. Holy shitting cows! I should dig my grave now.

Anyway, coming back my post, I have just finished reading The Body Finder by Kimberly Derting, and am right now wondering why the hell didn't I pick this book up sooner. the suspense was unbearable. Well, okay, fine, it was slightly bearable as seeing I could survive not reading the book for four freaking days just because of Sports Day, even though I was already somewhere in the rising action of the book. Still, I just want to highlight how awesome the book is for it's chilling suspense! My hands and feet were cold and sweaty by the time I finished the book early morning today. There was a review printed on the book on the cover saying that "you'll be drawn by the love story and kept up all night by the suspense" or something along those lines. The latter is most definitely true, I can assure you, but as for the romance it was a bit...... err, I don't know. The build-up was okay and interesting, but towards the end it just reminded me slightly of Twilight. Do we females always need to write such unnecessary, extravagant, romantic scenes just for our comfort? Are we really that (dare I say) shallow to seek confidence or comfort from silly things like these?

Okay, before I launch into slightly-feminist mode I should come back to this post. The suspense of the book was great enough for me to look past the disappointing romance in the story. Yes, for me, it was that good. How many crime/mystery/suspense novels could grip your attention for so long? Not many. But this one can. The way the story is told in the third person perspective made me feel complete being able to read every scene. It would definitely be a shame if the scenes were limited to the narrative style of writing. Hoever, I did feel that the ending was a bit anti-climatic for such an awesome build-up. I'm not saying that Kimberly Derting ended things terribly, but I feel that there could've been a better way to wrap up the story instead of the usual 'BANG! Then spoof! epilogue that is set months later with a brief explanation for what happened'.

Oh well. I'll just seek solace from the sequel. Can't wait to get it soon! I'm still saving for it! XD

Oh! And I found another reason to look foward to next year aside from the Percy Jackson and the Kane Chronicles series! There's a third instalment for TBF series (The Last Echo) and the cover is amazing! Yay! More Violet to come!

holy shit I am so behind times the cover was revealed at the end of May why did I forget to check omigosh the cover is so fucking cool dudes this is way better than my previous post gosh Percy looks freaking awesome he kicks ass man I can't freaking wait to get this book damn October so freaking close to SPM darn it I so want this book and omg he remembers Annabeth even though he lost his memories!!!

I apologise. That got wayyy out of hand. But I'm just so excited for this book! The last book was kind of a disappointment for me because Percy didn't appear at all! Note: being mentioned is different from making an appearance in the book. Gah. So many great stuff coming at the end of the year... Injustice much?

PERCY!!!! Gah, I miss the times when Annabeth would kick his butt.

Finally.

Behold! The much long-awaited cover has been revealed! Can't wait to read it! The cover looks so.... wow. Definitely made an impression on my mind. I hope this is as good as Once Was Lost! Fingers crossed!

Drawing and painting those Teresa banners have really sucked the life out of me. I just thank the unseen forces- okay, rephrase, that sounded wrong. I just thank my lucky stars that I have Jie Yu slaving over the banners with me and the occasional help from the drifters that float by.

But even so, I just feel so fucking tired, and like all the spirit of Sport's Day is being vacuumed out of me like a drilling machine on the roll. I don't know why.

The others can't even care less about the banners. They just wanna paint a little and get the marks, despite not dong much. The things that they've done probably aren't even worthy of the marks they're gonna get. I just feel so.... frustrated. I know I shouldn't say this, because at least they've helped in some way, and I should be grateful for it. But for some reason, I'm just not. Somehow my feelings machine has broken down and I'm just sitting down here wondering when it would actually get patched up. It's just so fuckng hard to stay cheerful and optimistic when the spirit wasn't even there to begin with and your teammates start to act like immature, bratty babies and don't give a shit just because things aren't going their desired way. If I wanted to let go and not care, I would've done it a long time ago. Why should I keep on enduring all the shit my parents give me for getting myself involved with all that's happening and not carrying out my responsibilities as a student and start working on my add maths? That's the problem, people always think that there are people to pick up the shit they leave behind and think they can just slip back in like nothing ever happened when things start getting smooth again. When are we actually gonna grow up, put aside all that immaturity and start acting responsibily?

I hope a good night's sleep takes away some of this shit. All that 'all talk and no action' attitude really pisses me off to no end.

Silver Spoon

Ooh. New series from Hiromu Arakawa! Finally, something nice to read.

It's the sick season now. I'm sick, my friends are sick, my dog is sick, everyone's sick.

I bought Delirium. Woots. Now, to save my pocket money for Desires of the Dead and The Throne of Fire hardcover edition. Should take action fast though, hardcovers are hard to find, and yet MPH has it!!!! Huzzah! but I should probably read The Body Finder before actually buying the sequel (ie Desires of the Dead). Meh.

Lack of writing posts has resulted in my inability to write a longer and more interesting post. I apologise for that. Time hasn't really been on my side much, but since when had it been anyway?

baaaacck

from KL.

Exhausted. Tired. Gah. Many things happened. Due to exhaustion I'm just too lazy to write out whatever happened in KL.

But in the end, AT LEAST I got this (as a sign of comfort, even though it is not the hardcover edition, sadly and most regrettably):

Score.

Now, to wrap it and then read it. After a good night's sleep. In my own bed. With my own cuddly pillows. That is.

zzzzzz.

it's June already.

half a year has flown by.

i ask myself.

am i ready to fight, and stay steady?

the outcome is clear.

no. i think i'll die.

TO BE WATCHED.

SUMMER WARS.





I know, the Japanese trailer is crap weird, while the English one looks much better without audio because Yuri Lowenthal sucks voicing the character there for some reason (he was much better in Tales of the Abyss and Ben 10 Alien Force), but I heard this was a hit in Japan. And tissue paper was mandatory when watching the show.


THE GIRL WHO LEAPT THROUGH TIME.



The film looks better than the trailer. At least, that's what they say. Which I hope is true. And I heard tissue was again a must for this show.


However. This (below) looks much better. Even without the audio (the blasted speaker was not working) it stirred something inside me. I stopped halfway though because it was just so darn good. And it was spoiling too much a bit for me. MUST WATCH AFTER THE MOVIE.

Exhausted. After several weeks of unrest and unpeaceful sleep and constant war with exams, I am rewarded with two weeks of holiday. Well, at least, if that doesn't work out (i.e mum's constant nagging for me to study my ass off) I still have a few nights' peaceful sleep until school reopens and I face the horrors of my result.

I'm surprised at myself today. During Lit, it was like something inside of me had exploded and I felt the words just coming to me like water, and I just wrote and wrote furiously, until I realised I had plenty of time and slowed down to a much more comfortable pace and finished my paper, doing every question and tackling them the best I could. Moments like these are rare, and I doubt I would actually forget moments like these where the joy and passion for writing and reading just seem to flow inside your blood. It sort of makes up for the times when I wished I never took the subject.

So, I guess it's times like these that I feel it was worth enduring all the late-night studying and stressful times, just for that two and a half hours of inspiration explosion. :)

Will post a list of what I plan to do during the holidays. And a list of books that I intend on buying. Mum's thinking of signing me up for the Celcom iPhone package thingy. It's expensive. And the amount of what we have to pay (even though it's cheaper than the usual) can buy me twice or thrice the amount of books I have in mind to get my hands on (SARAH DESSEN'S NEW BOOK. ALL YOU LUCKY BITCHES WHO LIVE NEAR KINOKUNIYA/IN THE STATES COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS). So, decisions decisions. Should I trade? I want to. But is it worth it?




I AM FUCKING FREE.


For now.

So while insomnia kicks in, this should have been the perfect chance for me to start studying my ass off for Add Maths, Bio and Physics, but no, I just had to give in to the temptations of the internet.

Darn. My resolve is weak. Bad.


Hectic month it has been, exams and such. Plus after exams I'll be pretty much working my ass off for the school magazine. Once I'm done with that, I think there isn't any much more to do. Except studying. And procrastinating.

I wouldn't be surprised if my results this time aren't really that good. Throughout this whole month, when I'm not studying or sleeping or eating or in tuition or on the road, my time is spent on the internet, reading and finding various ways to amuse myself to the point where I leave silly comments on people's walls on FB, something I have never done before. Still, I have to admit, it's like a guilty pleasure, you know? Like, when everyone's slaving over Chemistry I spent the whole afternoon on the net reading stuff (which turned out to be quite productive) and only started my revision at what, eight something nine at night? And I slept at ten something eleven?

Sometimes, I surprise myself.

My grades are self-explanatory. My family thinks I work hard, but in truth I'm just a bum who sits in front of the table doing my own things, never quite studying.

I guess I'm kinda frustrated at myself for letting them down, disappointing them.

I know. Self-pity is just a pathetic, shallow excuse. But I am allowed to be so sometimes, am I? Then when I decide it's enough, I'll just pull myself out of that shitty state and start moving on with life.

But for now, at least these few hours until the break of dawn, I'll just sit here and enjoy escaping reality while the whole world passes by.

While I was surfing the net and out of curiousity, I went searching for Where She Went book reviews (don't worry, I finished reading it days ago already). Nine out of ten reviews are raving, praising the book for its excellent portrayal of Adam and the story's flow, and of course, the raw emotions in the book. This I can't deny, I was touched by Adam's grief too. It's unavoidable that everyone compares it to its prequel If I Stay, saying that they liked Where She Went more.

Somehow this doesn't seem to be true for me. On the contrary, I loved If I Stay more. I don't know why. Wait, screw that, I think I know why. True, I don't deny that the emotions in the sequel is much more overwhelming, but somehow Mia's comeback and courage to live on in If I Stay seemed to touch me more. Perhaps it was the way the ending was written, because when I read the ending, I could practically just feel the emotions gush out as if I'm in the story itself, hearing non-exisent cello music, as if Mia's ears were mine. So... that was the plus point I guess.

I've read many books that contained grief in them. Where She Went is one of them (Adam's grief after he lost Mia). But the best book I've read so far is hands down The Sky is Everywhere. In terms of grief, it surpasses so many books out there. Wait, scratch that, with or without grief it beats most books out there by miles. I want to say that it beats Where She Went, but I don't think I can for some reason. Both protagonists are musicians, both have lost someone dear to them (In different ways though), and both are dealing with it in their own ways. But the way The Sky is Everywhere was written just captured my heart the moment I read it. It's just too good a book to put down.

I'm not saying that Where She Went was bad, it's good! In fact, it's so much better than so many books out there on the shelves. And I've most definitely enjoyed it. :) If you've read If I Stay, you must read Where She Went. It's a package deal, you can't separate them. But if you haven't started on any of the above, start with If I Stay. It's such a great book that will rock your world to the very core. Then, if you can, read Where She Went followed by The Sky is Everywhere. Lenny's story definitely deserves a place in everyone's hearts.

Okay, rambling over. Goodbye.

i feel like an atm machine

So while everyone in the US is celebrating the awesome, much-anticipated release of Where She Went since three days ago, I am here, sitting down, fretting over homework, studies, school activities and trying hopelessly to juggle and balance them. Caught a few glimpses of reviews and such, and boy are they overwhelming and full of positivity! Gah! This has made me yearn for the book more! I should really focus on my exams and studies.

Procrastination. It gets into you and bites you back in the end, hard.

I've just discovered another awesome place for writing and reading stories online:

Inkpop.com.

Plus, not forgetting, this site comes with a HUGE bonus, especially for writers/authors wannabes. Get your work into the top five picks of the site (I think it's chosen on a monthly basis, not sure though) and it'll be reviewed by a HarperCollins' editor. If you are a book fan or amateur writer and do not know what HarperCollins is, you should do a headsmack and jump into the sea of nowhere.

Hence, if it's good (duh, it's in the top 5 picks list out of so many works on the site), there'll be a high chance that you'll get published!


I think it's a cool place to read more, aside from FictionPress. I'm not sure which one is better though, because I haven't really explored much of inkpop to compare both, but I think both sites have their pluses and minuses. Hope to read more works from the great writers on inkpop! :D

Honk For Japan!

I suppose this should be the original book cover, as seeing I got this from the main site of HarperCollins. Gosh, when I went over to Goodreads I even saw a green cover one!

Thankfully I got the original one for I am Number Four. Hardcover and first edition from MPH, score! (Don't know why Popular likes getting the razorbill and penguin movie-tie-in one...) But this means it'll be hard to get all the other five books (The Lorien Legacy has six books in total) all in the same kind, especially if I want all of them to be first editions. Oh dear...

Oh well, still a long way to go. You can go here to read the book description: http://www.harpercollins.com/books/Power-Six-Pittacus-Lore/?isbn=9780061974557

Number seven's gonna be our next narrator, so weird. What will happen to Four, Six and Sam? What about Sarah?! (You know, all that numbering sort of reminds me of that cartoon series called Kids Next Door...)

Sigh. August 23rd. Another date to remember, another book to buy, another addition to the bookshelf! :D

(I just noticed, the book covers seem to be all on elements of nature. Book one is fire, book two is water. So what do we have next? Trees maybe? XD)

burning in the skies

Three years ago, you crushed my dream, you ground it into dust and let it fly away.

And now, you're asking me to relive it like it never happened, like everything was normal and I still had it in me.

Well, this is you isn't it? You're always right, aren't you? Everything's too fucking good for you. Which is why you have no fucking friends. Because you never even looked inside your ugly selfish self and wonder what the heck was wrong with your hypocritical, self-conceited self. you sore loser


You're all talk and no substance. You're just living back in the past. If you adored and loved the past so much, why don't you just build a time machine and go back instead of whining and making our poor ears bleed it death?


Can't? Well, too bad for you.

Newsflash!!!!!! OMG Japan has been hit by the terrible, destrcutive, terrible, devastating mega forces-of-nature-bully tsunami! :( I know I'm in no position to say this because Malaysia is unaffected and some of the citizens (i.e the brat in my house) is still blissfully ignorantly unaware of everything that's happening, but hang in there!!!!

I thank my lucky stars for the continuous supply of clean water and food and money as well as the roof over my head. Honestly, I can't be any thankful than now.

Suddenly, my teenage drama homework problems are so small in scale as compared to everything that's happening to the world. I won't say that I'll never ever complain about the injustice of life again because that's just crap and unhumanely impossible, but I'll try my best to cease. Everytime those negative throughts rush through my head, I'll think about all those horrible, devastating scenes of mishap going on around the world and tell myself I should be lucky I'm not the one experiencing shortage of food and basic necessities.

We Malaysians should really count our blessings.


On a side note. I've discovered CLAMP's latest manga: Gate 7. I'm really interested in it, especially the artwork because I feel it's a blend of all the clamp mangas I like, i.e X/1999, Chobits (the winning factor), xxxHOLiC, Cardcaptor Sakura (the eyes, the eyes! Excluding the eyelashes of course, I think they are more towards X/1999), Angelic Layer and as much as I hate to admit it, Kobato.

I'm not a fan of Kobato. Really. I think the story's kind of... I don't know, pointless? Stereotypical? I'd say Tsubasa was better despite those confusing, messy (okay, well, it's a form of art) lines scattered all over the pages which made it so hard to read and understand, especially since I am reading the complex-chinese one. Gah. Tsubasa was awesome at the beginning, until CLAMP decided to have a change and jumped over to the dark side. It was a nightmare reading a dream within a dream within a dream and trying to decipher those mysterious lines, I'm not exactly brain-material you know...

But, come to think of it now, I'd really like to go back and re-read the CLAMP series I have right now, especially Chobits (because I LOVE and ADORE it so much) and Tsubasa so I can attempt to understand the freaking whole story! Gate 7 too! It has really caught my interest!

But first, I will have to go study for my undang test due tomorrow. Argh, all those laws! Heck, I don't really see them being practiced on the roads anyway! Argh...

Wait, did I mention that xxxHOLiC has ended a long time ago? With a super duper uber crappy ending not worthy of CLAMP? Gosh, Doumeki's great-grandson?! Seriously?! At least show us how Doumeki or something!

I sincerely hope Gate 7 does CLAMP justice, and brings the former awesome CLAMP style and manga material back so we can have decent manga to read.

Okay, shutting up now. Undang.

I wish the rain would wash the pain away and let me disappear

Here:

http://www.gayleforman.com/books/where-she-went/excerpt/


The excerpt of the sequel of If I Stay. Personally, I think it's okay (not boring, but not really that awesome, yet), but I really want to read the book to get a much, complete feeling. The excerpt doesn't really say much, but that's what excerpts do, don't they? Keep the reader in the dark and everything.... Bleh.

On another hand, Sarah Zarr (author of Once was Lost) is publishing another book in October 2011. Ooh.......

Time flies.

It's March, and I have a shitload of activities and homework piled up for me. (Present pile of homework left untouched at the side, yet I still have time for this.) Holidays are soon, but I doubt I'll get much of my personal stuff done, much less some rest.

It has always been in my mind ever since forever, should I stick to blogger? I am thinking of venturing out to different social networks (excluding the one and only book of face) like tumblr and twitter, but whenever the thought crosses my mind I somehow cancel it out since I have been on this site for years. And this somehow is a living proof of my existence and growth (regardless if I actually had any at all since 2007). My rants and bitches, my complaints, my happy moments and excitements, suicidal angsty moments and so many more... to just ignore and abandon them like that, it's like throwing part of yourself away; I'm not ready to do that yet. True, we shouldn't look back, but it's from the mistakes in the past that we learn and grow into a better person.

It's not because everyone's running off to sign up for these sites. Hell, I've been thinking about changing sites ever since two or three years ago! But right now, I'm not so sure anymore. At least last time I had the time and opportunity to write a long, decent post, but now I'm more towards the short ones, or sometimes even one-liners.

I'd like to try something new, and I feel it's not that hard to blog on tumblr instantly without a computer but with my iPod touch, as opposed to blogger where whenever I want to write something on mobile internet, I can't. (For some unknown reason.) But I'm not ready to throw my old self away and close that open door of memories, not just yet.

I don't know. This is really happening to me lately. My mind is just full of "I don't know's". Right now, everything is just....


I don't know.