300th post: Credits 2010

I wanted to type this at night, but as seeing I might not make it (mum's all about celebrating the new year by eating out and my first F5 add maths class starts tomorrow, thus requiring me to sleep early), I suppose I'd better do this first.

So I guess I should start the post with the 'count you blessings' theme.

I know that I am very lucky to be able to live and communicate in such a great environment as compared to others who are living in third-world countries and don't even have clean water supplies to last them for eternity. I have a roof over my head, a functioning toilet (yay!), enough food to feed myself and needless to say an awesome dysfuntional great family who live with me and though I will NEVER EVER say this in front of your goddamned faces, I think it's pretty cool living in a family like that because I get to grow up not just physically but mentally as well.

Every life has its own drama. And conflicts. So does mine. Despite the endless times I lament and complain and bitch about those hard times I face, when I look back I am grateful too for being able to experience them because they shape me up into becoming a better person in life.

But this doesn't mean that I expect an easy year ahead of me. For all I know it's gonna get worse next year with all those school activities, tuition classes, homework shitload, possible human-relationship wreckages and important, dramatic (look up college) decison making. Same goes to the years yet to come.

My family, my mentors and teachers, my besties, my friends, my beloved belongings (pillow, my faithful writing utensils and the list goes on), the people I dislike, thanks for being there for me all the while I face my ups and downs, I could've done it myself but you guys made it easier for me, so thanks a lot! Myself too. I went for this camp this year and I discovered that none of us actually thank ourselves after achieving something. I know it seems narcisstic and self-conceited to thank myself, but I don't care. Now that I think of it, if I didn't push myself and search for that willpower inside of me to continue striving on, I don't even think I can be sitting here racking my brains to say something cheesy. (I'd probably still be lost back in that year, crying, struggling and bleeding.) So yeah, thank you self, you got me to where I am today, I am grateful.

I'm not saying I am eagerly anticipating the arrival of next year, but there's no point in lying to myself and running away from reality and the fact that I have to sit for SPM anyway, so when the time comes, I will just have to chin up, face it and embrace it for what it is. Though I do hope that this philosophy stays on for the rest of my life when I face whatever hardships that lie ahead of me...


'Suppose that's all for this corny post. Will post again tomorrow (next year), see ya and have a happy new year!



On a side note, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ZHI WEN!!!!!!!






Thank you 2010.

Random

Christmas was okay for me. Bought presents, went to CS with my family for two days (don't worry, we went home for dinner and sleep, we didn't camp there), went to MPH and bought four books (yay!) and err.... I don't know, aside from that I don't think productivity radar started flashing like mad. Oh well.


It was today that I discovered the existence of NaNoWriMo, i.e National Novel Writing Month. Okay, I heard about it/seen the word on a few FP and FF stories, just that I didn't really bother to check what it really was. Then today, out of sheer curiousity, I googled it and ta da! I finally know what it is!

Gosh, if only I knew about this earlier I would have been in time to join the challenge! I mean, I don't think I actually get to participate in it anymore next year, as seeing November is one freaking month where I have to face the horrors of SPM and sit down in a stupid hall full of 200++ students and sit for the blasted exam unless some very smart terrorists decide to massacre our school in the midst of examinations and blast us all into smithereens.

But then again, it wouldn't be good. Life is too short, and I don't want to die young. Yet. And even if I'm lucky enough not to die young by the hands of a stupid terrorist, I don't want to re-take the stupid exam. Gah.

Goodbye November. There goes my chance of submitting a 50 000 worded novel and overcoming the challenge. Next time? Gosh, I don't know when that'll be. After SPM it's gonna be loaded with college and university and assignments and whatever shit life gives us. Blargh.

On a side note, I have just discovered my next new obsession. FAMILY GUY! It's so goddamned funny! And all that cultural references! I love Stewie! XD World domination dudes! Sigh, if only I had an IQ of his, I'll pass all my Maths and Physics exams.


Family Guy!

State of exhaustion

Tired.

Spent the whole day out being dragged to shop for presents, until it was my turn to hunt for them, alone, in CS. Gosh, I think I just burned a hundred calories by just walking. My head hurts.

Then, as seeing we didn't have a key, me and sis decided to camp out at Jusco PJ J.Co Donuts and Coffee (expression of curiousity, isn't it spelled 'doughnuts'?) for almost two hours where the people there are awesome enough to give us free yoghurt (a bit lah...)! Yay! The next time I buy doughnuts I'm gonna buy from them!!!!! :D

I feel a bit guilty for not leaving a tip after eating their yoghurt. :(

Anyways, sorry for the crappy post, I am exhausted and the creative juices just aren't flowing. I give up on that Christmas fic.


Merry Christmas everyone! Stay safe and don't break any limbs!

2010 100th post

Despite your incorrigible, lethargic, happy-go-lucky, stupid, idiotic, insufferable, blase, annoying, devil-may-care, selfish, cowardish, and a million more negative adjectives to describe that crazy irritating attitude and personality of yours, you still have your shining moments of glory, don't worry.



Happy birthday you idiot of a brother. Hopefully more good things that bring your character improvement lie ahead of you in the future and present.


Doubt you'll ever read this anyway. Meh.

Shit happens

Sometimes, you wonder what it's like to have an undo button in life.

Sense of achievement :D

I am finally done with arranging the bookselves. Now, I dare say it looks quite neat. *gloats*

Stuff happening recently:

• Skai's birthday coming up
• PMR results coming out soon, good luck Sze Yann (hope I spelled your name correctly, :P)!
• The much awaited GA chapter 140 has been released. 'S okay I suppose, though I feel a tad bit disappointed for not having more Mikan scenes. :/

The year is ending soon. How time flies.

I'll miss you

I should be there, but I'm not.

But one day, I will go alone there, and enjoy myself to the fullest without anyone stopping me or holding me back. One day. I will.

Hopefully next year.

Of disappointments and expectations

I knew it I knew it I knew the latest Soul Eater story arc was just gonna turn out to be a bunch of laughing crap worthy of a freaking pile of cow shit.

Gah. Gosh, the previous arc got me so geared up (Black Star's character development spelled awesomeness, but I still kinda miss his old self) that I read a whole whooping 22 chapters on sky-fire for four freaking consecutive hours online. I was so excited that they were finally gonna save Kid's ass (though I am quite surprised that he wasn't trying a darn thing to save his own butt, but oh well, he was injured, meh) from the Book of Eibon when suddenly chapter 81 drops a bombshell and has all those lame scenes where everything is draggy?

Was the whole point of the chapter Kid's Sanzu lines power up stuff? If it is, god it is so not funny. What the hell happened to Noah anyway! He was such an interesting villain to begin with! Shame.

I can WILL puke if the next arc does not return to its usual glory and awesome action-packed scenes and drama that is wayyyy better than Naruto and Bleach combined. Cross my heart man, this is like the first shounen series that's got me so hooked up (despite my initial repulsion due to the mature and coughcoughnudecoughcough scenes), so that has to mean something! C'mon Ohkubo-sensei! You can do better than this! And I'm not even one of those fans who had to wait their asses off for a month only to be disappointed with a lame chapter like this. Imagine them going through something like this! The characters in this chapter were practically like immobile wooden sticks standing there like idiots on a fashion show waiting to get their butts kicked! Defenseless! Gosh!

Oh well, maybe Ohkubo-sensei's just too busy and getting all worked up for the SE spin-off (Soul Eater Not!). But I am quite curious what the new series would contain. Hmmm.... Shall check it out when I get the chance. Next year is really gonna be a busy year. Insert gulp.

Hopefully we get some Chrona action and drama in the next arc!!! I miss her.... AND I STRONGLY BELIEVE CHRONA IS A 'HER'. NOT 'HE'. OBVIOUSLY DUH. My female instincts tell me so. And to whoever reading this stupid post now (yes you, yeah, you, the one staring at this screen, you) refrain yourself from commenting something stupid about your disagreement with my take on Chrona's gender thank you very much. We don't need a commotion in this blog, well, at least I don't.


Is it just me or are the quality of mangas going down? I was suddenly so interested in Bakuman (by the creator and mangaka of Death Note!!!) that when I went to the sky-fire page, the artwork of the latest chapter also caused an uproar amongst fans. I mean, seriously, when you compare the artwork of the first chapter and the latest chapter, it is so shockingly different. Geez, it's the assistants, isn't it? Are the mangakas just so lazy busy that they don't really have time to supervise the assistants' artwork? Sheesh.

No offence meant to the other mangas. I just hope the quality of manga series lately takes for a better turn. MANGA IS FOREVER! AGELESS! It is waaayy better than picture books the kiddies read! Awesomeness. I'm quite happy that I've found a few great manga series to read, but still, the quest for more goes on! Yesh!

I'm setting my eyes on Alive: The Final Evolution. It revolves around issues of suicide, which really piques my interest and curiousity. I might consider going back to Kekkaishi or School Rumble, as I might find something nice after re-reading like how it did for me in Soul Eater. Trust me, the first time I read SE, I was really put off by the nude scenes and swore never to touch the series again, marking it as inappropriate and rated XX, as mentioned above, but hey! Look at me now! I just don't really care much about some of the mature scenes and go for the awesome action and storyline, as well as the bold, wonderful and unique artwork.

Gakuen Alice chapter 140 to be released in just three more days in Japan (it's 17/12 now)! And another series with a heroine that has braids. Hmm, they do seem quite popular now, don't they? Oh well, whatever, it's the start of the final arc of GA! Gosh, when GA ends, despite some really wishy-washy scenes with big starry eyes throughout the series that pisses me off sometimes 'cause they unnecessarily take up like three pages (it is in the shoujo genre, after all), I'm really gonna miss it! (Sniffs) I've always been waiting patiently for every release ever since chapter 95 or so, and I think from the posts archive in my blog, I've been waiting for two years already. Gosh, how time flies.


I'm old. Sigh. I can't believe it. In a flash, 2010 has passed by. I shall do a credits post on the last day of this year, as usual. Mmm.



Night peeps.

Random

As expected, my impression of Death the Kid in Soul Eater is ruined and shattered into millions and gazillions of unmendable pieces when I watch the anime. Sigh, I should have stuck to the manga and not let my curiousity get the better of me.

MAMORU MIYANO SHOULD NOT HAVE VOICED HIM! Gosh, whenever I read the manga, Romi Paku just pops into my mind naturally.

I'll just pretend I never watched scenes of Kid in the anime. Sigh.



PS: Whenever I hear Mamoru Miyano, no matter whatever roles he lands up with, I just picture Tamaki from Ouran High School Host Club, you know? It's sort of like a package deal...

off times

Red all over the place. Stay away from me until tomorrow or else

Shit I just fucking deleted my latest post which I used more than two fucking hours to type about my teeth state and my review on The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson accidentally and right now I'm so pissed and frustrated at myself I just feel like slamming my damned fry-brain into the LCD monitor.


Fucking shit.


Crap.



While I go on cursing myself to the pits of Hades you should go get yourself a copy of The Sky is Everywhere, you won't regret. The adjectives there are superbly and wonderfully written and it totally blows up the whole emotional factor in book review history. And I'm already past PMS mode so I'm not really an emotional bitch by hormonal definition so a book like this that can make me write a blog post using TWO fucking hours is more than a stupid 'two-thumbs-up' story.

Gosh, and all those time I spent typing and quoting those nice verses written in the novel. All gone! GONE!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But, my grief is nothing compared to Lennie's. Hers. Intense. Overwhelming. Heartbreaking. Heartwrenching. It's like you're really inside her thoughts, her head you know? Wondering along with her if it's really right to be happy and feel happiness despite your favourite lovely sister just died and you are supposed to be mourning in sadness and pain and not trying to get into some guys pants and kissing your dead sister's boyfriend while hooking up with the new hearthrob in town.

Gosh, everything, the descriptions, the feelings, they were so emotional at that time it mdae me want to cry.


But I didn't. Don't worry.





Someday, when I'm really angry, I hope I won't chop of my fingers.

I am grateful

Two years and four months ago, I stepped foot into a dentist clinic and had my teeth undergo physical torture while myself mental torture.

No doubt, I lost weight during the first week of having metal pushing my crooked teeth back to perfection.

And now, two years and four months later, I will be going back for my last usual monthly check up. What follows here after will be a few six-months-once check-ups and a set of retainers. I have only a few more hours until the braces are removed from my teeth, after that, it's all retainers and back to the normal toothbrush again.


Gosh, time flies.

Thanks for these two years, constantly watching over me and teaching me to endure all sorts of pain a set of mouth can undergo. It might not be much, but I strongly feel I have grown and learn (even though it's only a bit) from this experience.




The beginning at the end. I won't forget you.

Looking up

My fingers are itching to just flip to the last page and read the ending. I couldn't have put down the book if it weren't for its frustrating plot that somehow seems to just put me off and pull me back at the same time.


But still, it's awesome. And intense. Been a while since I've actually read something so wonderful.




The Sky is Everywhere, peeps. But I'm only halfway there.

Newsflash!

Ooh! I'm so excited! So being an insomniac for the night does have its pluses!!!! YESH!

Peeps, listen to THIS (okay, well, more like READ THIS):

[... 2. I've been getting a lot of questions about What Happened to Goodbye, my new book, which will be out in May. What it is about? you want to know. Give us details! Well, regular readers know that I am really, really terrible at summarizing my own books. It's honestly embarrassing. So I will just relay to you the copy that my brilliant (and very succinct) editor wrote for the back flap:

Another town. Another school. Another Mclean. Ever since her parents' bitter divorce, Mclean and her father have been fleeing their unhappy past. And Mclean's become a pro at reinventing herself with each move. But in Lakeview, Mclean finds herself putting down roots and making friends---in part, thanks to Dave, the most real person Mclean's ever met. Dave just may be falling in love with her, but can he see the person she really is? Does Mclean herself know?

*cue suspenseful music*
Okay, so that's the basic idea. But there is more! Like basketball. And restaurants. And acronyms. Also, the return of a few faces and places I am hoping readers of my other books might recognize. (Which I think I have cleverly hidden, but of course you will probably find them in five seconds. Oh, well.) I'm so, so excited for everyone to read it. I can't wait!...]

Taken from Sarah Dessen's blog (http://writergrl.livejournal.com/). I don't own any of the context above, nor do I own the website stated in the previous sentence, so don't sue. I'll take it down if it has violated the copyright terms and just replace it with my words.

Okay, recap: I woke up at half past nine at night (that's right folks, you heard it correct, HALF PAST NINE) after a three hour nap and just had difficulty falling back asleep. So, after another three hours of fighting with my mind, I gave up and switched on my PC. Surfing the net as usual, la di da, lalalalala, until just a few minutes ago when I was about to shut it off and try going back to sleep, I remembered I hadn't checked Sarah Dessen's blog and ta da! Boom. It led me to where I am now! Awesomeness man. And there's something about basketball!!! Woohoo!

(does the touchdown dance)


Mclean's a nice name. And I'm definitely getting more than excited for this book!!! More than Along for the Ride I'm sure! Though Dave is a weird name to use, IN MY OPINION. But still, it's cool. Whatever Sarah Dessen writes is like gold to me! :D

Gosh, May 2011, I'll have to wait at least a month for the book to arrive in Malaysia, which just concludes that I will get the book sometime in June/July (the mid-year holidays, hopefully!). And 2011 is such a scary year. I am anticipating it because of fun, awesome stuff like Gayle Forman's Where She Went (release date April 2011 in the US), Dessen's What Happened to Goodbye (release date as stated above), my driver's licence (after my birthday in fabulous Feb) and lots more but I can't remember.

BUT, in 2011, there is SPM. There are stupid mock exams, there are targets to be achieved, there are lives to be saved from the horrors of getting shitty results, there are stupid scholarships waiting to be filled before the damned deadline or else you'll be a great ass-bummer for another year, there are decisions to be made, and there are stupid nagging words from the people up there that will, I sincerely promise, be worse than this year itself.



It won't be the same again. It never will be.

Insomnia state

Even though you're gone and far away
I feel you all around
I think about it every single day
You got away somehow

I can't sleep
It's hard to breathe
And I still feel you next to me
Now I can see

The first one is the worst one
When it comes to a broken heart
Your first love, yeah, you're so young
And you feel like a falling star

There's a fire in the centre
That's burning out tonight
And you're breathing but you're barely alive
The first one is the worst one,
When it comes, when it comes to a broken heart.

Spinning like a movie in my head
I've seen a thousand times
I've learned to take it hard
And fall instead
of sitting safe on the side lines

Lost days
Pictures fade
Somehow, you're still miles away
It's safe to say

The first one is the worst one
When it comes to a broken heart
Your first love, yeah, you're so young
And you feel like a falling star

There's a fire in the centre
That's burning out tonight
And you're breathing but you're barely alive

The first one is the worst one
When it comes, when it comes to a broken heart

'Cause I would run through a thunderstorm
just to kiss you
I'm out here on my own
Better now than it was before, but I miss you
and I want you to know

I can't sleep
It's hard to breathe
And I still feel you next to me
and I can see

The first one is the worst one
When it comes to a broken heart
Your first love, yeah, you're so young
And you feel like a falling star

There's a fire in the centre
That's burning out tonight
And you're breathing but you're barely alive

The first one is the worst one
When it comes, when it comes to a broken heart


-The First One, Boys Like Girls

Expectations

Okay, here's a list of things I should expect/achieve before Christmas:

• A chapter update from GA
• A chapter update from MHR (heheheehe)
• My braces will officially be gone on the 14th of December
• Finish all the books I've bought on my last trip to Kinokuniya
• Write at least three more chapters for DC
• Decide on what presents to buy for friends
• Do some Add. Maths exercises
• A Wacom tablet (hopefully? Dare to dream, dare to hope)

And more to come.

Can you believe it? I'm gonna be braces-less in four more days!!!!!!! Gosh, for the first time in my life, I WILL camwhore with my lips open wide in commemoration of my two-year-old braces.

Okay, I shall save the touching, heartwarming parting speech for Monday night. Sigh. Two years. Two freaking years!

-

The previous two days (December 6) marks my third year anniversary in blogger. Gosh, I can't believe I forgot! I'm so stupid. Oh well, never mind, happy late anniversary bloggie dearest! Thanks for being there with me through the happy and hard times always!






My mind is in turmoil. I just wish life was much more simple. Complications. Overthinking. Problems. Non-existent solutions. Disagreement. Suppression.



And whose fault was it anyway?

Make over, move over

I gave my blog a makeover. :D


I'm just not sure if I need one myself now. I'm fine staying this way.

:(

Suddenly, I regret not buying that Wacom tablet last year at CF.

28 27.11

Picture (C) Higuchi Tachibana

For Hyuuga Natsume, a seemingly typical manga character who dedicates his life to his friends and family but somehow holds a special place in every fan's hearts.

I wonder how he does that.

Happy birthday Natsume (though it's a day late), and hopefully you will find your happy beginning in your happy ending. :)

Annoyance

I passed every freaking subject with a C or above except for one.


Darn it.






I hate you, stupid C. Gah..............

Empty words

Because they are. And because they are, it is pointless to get so worked up over them.



I'm just waiting for you to realise that what you say doesn't affect me that much like how it did last time anymore. Maybe a bit, I don't know, but right now, what goes in just comes out the next second, because like I said, it's just pointless to get angry over them.

Anger is just much too childish for us.

You don't like people get angry over your words, you want people to accept them, but when we do, you just don't want that kind of reaction. You want more, you want more than that, but if so, just when is it enough?


So it's up to you now, however you want to react, whatever you want to say, I can't really care less anymore anyway. It's just pointless for me to do so, and when I get upset over it, it's like life going downhill in a roller coaster. I prefer to save myself the trouble, thanks.

It won't be easy first, but hey, as time goes by, it'll pass, and you'll realise, and you'll cease and stop.


What goes in, will come out. I am sure.





Be the master of your emotions, and you'll be the master of the world.

to the point of i n s a n i t y

Bored. Bored. Bored. Bored......................



to the point where I am so goddamn frustrated and feel like smashing something. Garh...................






Oh yes! I shall watch Suzumiya Haruhi in conjunction with the arrival of my nine volumes of SH light novels!!!! (albeit a few days ago...)

I think... All of a sudden, I'm not so sure again. Gah..... ****


Methinks life and time are to too precious to waste. But honestly, what is there to do????????????? gahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.. *spam*

Random

Experienced the crappiest, most horrible soup of my life a few moments ago. Blargh, but still, I did manage to down at least 3/4 quarters of it, though in the end, the thought of vomitting my stomach contents out on the dinner table was too much to bear as opposed to the poor who would actually die for the soup.

I have sinned wasting food. I am remorseful. (sobsob)

But still, imagine trying to drink some soup that tastes like Campbell's Creamy Chicken soup with pepper overload. And seriously pepper overload, I am not kidding. What's more, I hate pepper, I prefer the originality of the food's taste itself, thank you very much, as proven in my dislike of tomato sauce while eating french fries.

From what mum said, it's supposed to be healthy, over-nutritious soup given by the organic produce selling lady with lots of different herbs added into the recipe. And I think in this case, too many herbs spoil the soup. Thank god for green tea, I'm sipping as much green tea as I can to get rid of the taste that lingers in my mouth after downing that soup. Blargh. Pepper overload. Eww.

I know, I'm supposed to be thankful to have food to eat, but I don't know why that bowl of soup just made me so nauseous. And I doubt it's even healthy since the lady put the soup into a common plastic container, and I can imagine those harmful chemicals seeping into the soup when the soup was still hot.

Oh well, they say healthy foods are always much harder to accept than junk food. Speaking of junk food, though it's kind of old news, you should watch Food Inc, it's awesome and honestly, I am not eating more than five times of junk food every year starting next year (2010 is ending) after watching this amazing documentary. It's set in the US, I know, but in some other way it still affects other countries through shipping and entreport business I am sure.


I've intaken so much fluids just now, I hope I don't pee on the bed later.






You know, I think this is the first time I'm blogging about food.

It's over

Until next year. I won't miss you homework and studies!



Suzumiya Haruhi light novels to arrive on Thursday, the day an outing for a nice, very much anticipated Harry Potter movie. And there's that indecision feeling swimming inside of me about our class party on that day.

Last day of school, thursday's gonna be a blast! (I hope) The thought of my light novels cheer me up endlessly.









The beginning at the end. I won't forget you.

I SHOULD

• stop procrastinating and start on my Biology assignment (less than 24 hours to finish, crap. Who the hell gives assignments at the end of the year anyway?!)
• Google all the information I can on carbon dioxide.
• learn to find inner peace and control my emotions.
• be content for what I have.
• strangle the brat in his sleep. Go and die in a hole you stupid brat.
• Stop blogging so much and just get on with my Biology assignment already!!!! Crap. Crap. Crap.

For now. And more yet to come.

On a side note, I should be able to get my nine volumes of Suzumiya Haruhi light novels by the end of this week from Kinokuniya!!!! Hooray!!!!!

Biology assignment, you should go and die in a hole too.

Good night

Everyone's doing what I want to do, stuff that I thought of way back then when no one ever thought of it, just that I didn't have the chance to do it.


I don't feel so original anymore. And the essential core of an artist is originality.



Right now, I suppose I just have to think of more creative stuff to beat the rest. Mmm. Can't lose. Creativity and originality is something that cannnot be stolen, it can only be imitated and followed. And I am so not gonna do that unless under special circustances that force me to go with the flow (I can't just hit someone out of the blue just because people around me aren't doing it).

Yosh. Shall save the brain juices for creativity and originality later. For now, sleep is what I need. It's five a.m, I'm dead beat. And speaking of dead beat, I'm dead meat in today's Add Maths class.


Shoot.


Moral of the story: If you feel your creative juices flowing, just do it. Stop waiting. People surpass you. And it'd be too late by then.

Random shizz

Took a trip down childhood memory lane while watching the Teen Titans movie. I know, I know, I'm a sore loser watching cartoons (hey! No different from anime right?! But gah, whatever) and right now, I wish I hadn't, due to personal reasons of me not satisfied with the show's pairings. I know, screw me, I'm some kind of rabid fangirl expressing my dissatisfaction, so sue me.

Blergh.

Come to think about it, I really hadn't ranted about my interests like this for a very long night, hmm... Is it the song I'm listening now that's affecting me? Or is it the late night slash teen wee early hours of the morning giving me spiritual guidance in the creative rambling juices?

Oh god, what the hell am I crapping about anyway?


Never mind. I'll go with the late night slash early morning inspiration one. It always happens to me when I stayed up late back in those days when I still had the creative juices going strong. Sigh, a trip back down memory lane again. Yay.


Things I wish to express now:

-Raven rocks. She should have been given more limelight in the show.

-I like the internet.

-I want to sleep but the computers attracting me like north-south magnets.

-I have not studied a single shit for Linterature, walaupun saya telah berazam untuk membuat demikian dalam post saya yang lalu. (Sheesh, typing in Malay sucks big :/)

-I seem to get high during the night and early morning.

-I love my pillow very much and I have absolutely no idea what the hell I'm typing here. Gah.



Thank god for fanfiction. Yay! Oh yeah, does anyone know what kind of software I should use for ripping out the audio from a video? Or at least, what I should do? I'm clueless when it comes to these sort of tech stuff. Gah.

Okies, three a.m now. Wheepee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I heart my pillow!!!!!!!!! Muaks! *Squishes pillow, squishie squishie squishie squishie!!!*

Three weeks of absence

Oh my god, I survived those three torturous weeks of hell. O.O

I feel like my right hand can write a marathon. All that writing and scribbling has definitely made the muscles on my right hand grown bigger.


I had so much I wanted to do during the exam. Right now, I feel so listless. Gah. I have my Biology assignment too! No!!!! T.T




10 down, 1 more to go. English Literature, here I come!

10.10.10

The triple ten. 

Something about a stupid rumour going around about viruses attacking computers that go online at ten. Gah. 

Dead beat. Couldn't sleep the whole night. I have never felt so tired and dizzy in my whole sixteen years of existence before. It's like if I run even a 100 metres I'll drop dead onto the ground and faint. Yes, I am that tired. Shall sleep very early tonight. 

Two more days to the release of Rick Riordan's new Percy Jackson series book in the US. Nine more days to my finals. 

Screw reality. 

Long Rant Ahead

Supposed to be studying, but I'm not. Down with a bad tummy, vomitted my lunch wholesale without it being digested yesterday in the middle of the night followed by two more unmentionable dates with the toilet bowl. Ugh, I don't feel so good. No, wait, more like I feel very bad.

Academically speaking, today wasn't a very fruitful day. Tried doing my History notes, but I got sleepy after five pages, and so I suppose I will copy the rest in school tomorrow. But one thing's for sure this morning, it felt so good to be able to wake up at nine and sleep back at eleven in the morning, only to wake up again at one (I didn't attend school today, obvious much?). Ahh, if only everyday was like that. Not. I don't want to barf three times and face the toilet bowl literally every night thank you very much.

But, interests and hobby wise, today was REALLY a productive day. I have finally given in to the attractions of the internet and went surfing the net. But, I'm glad I did, because I got to discover the cover of Sarah Dessen's upcoming book!!!! Thank you Sarah Dessen for not putting this information on your blog which I have been so faithfully following. And to think I discovered that when I was actually looking for another book cover. What a surprise.

Here:

What Happened to Goodbye is about a high school senior who, after her parents’ divorce, has taken up the practice of assuming a new identity in each of the four towns she’s lived in.

Okaayyy. Sounds new, and interesting. And this is coming in 10th May 2011 in the US. When will it reach Malaysia? I have no idea. But I'm sure Kinokuniya will have it first, hopefully. Thank god for online book-shopping. :D

As mentioned above, when I stumbled across the new book cover for WHTG, I was actually going through the 'Where She Went' teaser tour, dropping by various book review blogs I have never known existed before (I honestly thought book reviewing was only in the papers and magazines). And the more I go through the whole thing, the more interested and excited I become. I mean, I already went through it once a few months ago, and when I go back, it still hits me in the face like newly/freshly-baked cookies.

Basically, from what I read in Gayle Forman's blog, it's about Mia coming back from the dead, walking out of poor Adam's life (I seriously gasped when I read this part) and becoming Julliard's very own rising star three years later. But Adam, though as heartbroken as he is, doesn't slack and drown himself with booze either. Apparently he and his band made it and became world famous. And so, on one faithful night, like any other book, something happens and they meet again in NYC. I think Adam got stuck there somehow, I'm not sure. And I heard he has some superstar actress as his girlfriend. Eww. Blargh. But anyways, like its precedessor 'If I Stay', the whole story takes place in one night and we get thrown back into flashbacks of what happened in between. Hooray.

Here is the cover for 'If I Stay':

And three years later, here is their story with Mia joining the walking dead society (kidding):

And she's back. As fierce and as ruthless as ever. What will she do next to poor Adam? I feel so sad for the both of them. (wipes stray tear from corner of eyes)

You can go to Gayle Forman's website (http://www.gayleforman.com/) for more information about both books or just straight away go here for the 'Where She Went' full package information (of course, no spoilers provided. We don't even know half the plot, only the gist of it):

http://www.gayleforman.com/blog/2010/09/07/where-she-went-the-full-package/

If you are a sucker for YA -no, wait, actually, I believe If I Stay surpasses most books regardless of its genre, so yeah, rephrase: No matter if you like whatever books you read, this book is denifitely one of your must-read books. It's just so touching I even bought the chinese-translated version, which I resolve to read after my finals.

Okay, enough said for those two series. Three more days to the triple ten, and FIVE MORE DAYS TO THE RELEASE OF THE HEROES OF OLYMPUS SERIES: THE LOST HERO!!!!!

Here's the cover for a finale to this post, and once again, hooray for online book-shopping!!!! I hope Kinokuniya gets this book fast, I'd love a first edition one. XD

Okay, back to studying. I still have so much more. And a call from Wei Ting just made me realise I haven't done any English Literature exercises at all, and I have to do some as seeing Anba's coming down this Saturday. Great. Study. Study. Study.

Postscript

Oh yes, forgot to add, HAPPY BIRTHDAY CHARLENE!!!!!!!!!!!!NEXT YEAR YOU'LL BE SEVENTEEN! AND I SHALL BUY YOU SEVENTEEN MAGAZINES!!!!!!!!!!!


Can't believe I actually never tried to know you better for the past three years. But oh well, at least this year I do. :DDDD


Last note: Gayle Forman's releasing the sequel to If I Stay next year!!! It's called 'Where She Went', and will be written in Adam's perspective. YESH. SO MANY THINGS TO LOOK FOWARD TO NEXT YEAR! SPM IS FREAKING HELL NOT ONE OF THEM.

Okay, must return back to serious mood and get off the computer now. I suppose I won't be surfing the net for some time unless there are important things to do. Toodles.



Peace out.

Resolutions

Stayed up till midnight just to wish CC happy birthday. Stupidsweet sixteen. So, that's one resolution down, a lot more to go.

Finals coming in less than a month. Holy crap. Everyone's studying their asses off while I am still struggling to complete my homework load. When I'm almost done with homework more comes in, and it's back to square one. Gargh, the teachers must really be considerate. I don't want to drop into the lower class!!!


It's time to make up for what I have lost in the past few exams this year. No more fooling around procrastinating, reduce trying to achieve superwoman status by helping any teacher who requests for something unless necessary(after English week, no more, MUST STUDY!), focus more on 'self' and being a selfish bitch with my time.

I'll prove it to those people who look down upon me that I can do it, and that I can improve academically and mentally. If I succeed, hooray for me; if I don't, I'll be sad, but at least I know I've tried my best. And knowing that I've put all my efforts to pull up my grades from the pits of nowhere is all that matters.

All talk and no action makes Jack a conceited boy. Therefore, this new resolution starts today. I. Will. Study. As. Hard. As. Possible. And. Try. My. Best.



It is never too late for resolutions, unless you're just talking big shit and crap and don't do a thing about it. If I succeed, I shall reward myself with a trip to Kinokuniya at the end of the year, and buy as many books as I can. YOSH!

Sucks much

Back to school. I'm having Monday blues.

Damn.


Thank god I washed my shoes.

Holidays a-ending

Haven't been on the net lately because I was busy dividing my time between playing Kingdom Hearts and watching the Nodame Cantabile series. I love the series! It sort of like introduced me deeper to classical music, and I am so gonna download all the tracks featured throughout the whole series! Yay!!! 

I loved the part where Chiaki conducted Brahm's Symphony No. 1, it almost moved me to tears, because aside from the beautiful music playing, the scenes depicted in the anime was just too touching. *sniffles* Sigh, I'd definitely love to rewatch the whole series again; I was kind of rushed when watching this because my brother kept bugging me like a pest to play KH. Honestly that self-conceited brat, he should really think of others first. Plus, I didn't really have the mood to play anymore after starting to watch Nodame. So the whole game mood is sort of dead right now, until I finish all the things I want and am supposed to do then only I'll start playing again. but, it would be the time school reopens again anyway, so meh, it'll just have to wait until the year-end holidays. 

I found the Nodame Rhapsody on Youtube, but I can't remember when this piece was played in the anime, or is it just played in the live-action drama series? Oh well, it's still awesome anyway. XD

I wish JC Staff would just hurry up and adapt Nodame Cantabile Opera-hen (manga)  into another anime series again. Gah. Wait, it's only ten chapters, so I don't mind a movie, as long as we get to see it on screen. It's kinda hard to imagine the music playing on paper, takes the feeling away without sound effects, you know? 

Procrastinating. I don't want to go back doing all the karangan I'm supposed to. Gah.....

08.09.10

Today is eight, nine, and ten. Woot!


Expect me to write another post on 10.10.10. (grin). I love posting on special dates, it sort of like proves that I had lived this day.

It was worth it.

*SPOILER ALERT! THE FOLLOWING CONTENT MAY CONTAIN SPOILERS UNKNOWN PRIOR TO THE READER'S KNOWLEDGE! BEWARE, YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

Starting from eight p.m I loaded the movie, and after failure after failure, and switching sites like a fickleminded person changing ideas after ideas, I have managed to finish watching One Piece the Movie 10: Strong World on one o'clock early in the morning. Whew....

But, it was worth it. Oda-sensei is a GENIUS! HE ROCKS OH-SO-MUCH MORE COMPARED TO THOSE SHITTY MOVIE SCRIPTWRITERS FOR THE PREVIOUS ONE PIECE MOVIES!!! Yay!!!!!!!! I'm so gonna add this to my collection of anime! Hehehe, once I get my hands on the DVD.... heheheheehe~~~~

The scenes were just stupendously magnificiently executed! It's just everything jumbled up into perfection! Okay, well, the only criticism I have is Nami for being the DID and Luffy and crew always rushing off to save her, BUT, it's okay. SHe sacrificed herself, and the end did quite surprise me, so I take it back. The show was awesome! Beyond awesome!!! The Zoro, Sanji and Luffy scenes were just gorgeous!!!! *allows self to oogle at said boys for a moment*

Okay, I have regained whatever dignity I have left. The touching moments were balanced with the action-packed scenes perfectly, so the movie definitely deserves more than ten stars out of ten. Oh, and the flying villagers were... weird, in a good way of course! Prolly cuz' I've never really seen wings growing on arms before, though it demonstrates correctly where wings should grow instead of people's backs. Realistic/logic plus people flying in the air, you do the math.


I am so sleepy right now. It's like just a few moments ago I was so tensed watching the whole movie and when it ends it all comes crashing down onto me, and my shoulders slump more than usual. Meh. But come to think of it, the whole leaving an unexpected message after an expected farewell speech was quite cliched. I don't mean that I knew what Nami was going to say, but I just had that gutful feeling that she would say something.... err.. what's it called again? Oh bother, it's just something like some sentence or hidden code that would trigger them to come and get her from the stupid castle, and that she still hasn't given up her loyalty with the Straw Hat crew, and that her joining Lionshiz's crew had another motive behind that saving friends and hometown excuse, and that Luffy would be angered beyond the beyond because of what she said at the beginning of her speech and not hear the last part, and yeah, so cliched.

But, it was fairly executed. So yeah, the movie's still awesome. :D


This has inspired me to add the series to my manga collection, it would definitely look good on the racks, and I'll provide myself one hell of an entertainment and fun, but but but but.... it'll be VERY EXPENSIVE. Gahh... shizz.

I like the word 'shiz'. I don't know what it actually means, but for me, it's like another word for 'shit'. XD Haha, yay. So yeah, about me referring to the main antagonist ad 'Lionshizz', I sort of forget the guy's name. Pardon me. e


It's so freaking late now, I don't suppose I will be able to wake up early and play Kingdom Hearts tomorrow. The power of the mind is an unbelievable thing. I lost my own copy of KH, but I told myself I could find it, and it would come back to me, and it did! Sort of. I didn't manage to find it, but I was so lucky enough to be able to buy a new copy!!!! The power of the mind peeps! But that's another story. I'm too tired to elaborate further anymore.


Peace out,
this is me signing off.

Easy to slack

As I copied and pasted the Kingdom Hearts Walkthrough (yes, I am that shameless. I'll leave playing on my own after I completed the game the first round) into Microsoft Words, my mind sort of like breezed through the prequels and sequels I will have to play after completing this game. And it hit me:

It's hard to keep up with the times.

I mean, Birth by Sleep is released on the PSP (which thankfully my brother has one), 358/2 Days on the Nintendo DS (my parents were kind enough to buy my brother one), KH I and II and Re: Chain of Memories on the PS2 (yesh!), Recoded soon to be released on the NDS (thank god), and last but not least, the new game installment Kingdom Hearts 3D to be released on the Nintendo 3DS.

Notice that I italic-ed the Nintendo 3DS? Yeah, that, is what I meant by 'hard to keep up with the times'.

It's a stupid commercialised, money-making scheme where the developers choose to release the latest installment of your favourite series onto some latest console that you don't have. Yeah right. Gamebox in hand, latest console in another, tempting you as if to say 'You want it? Come and get it. But do you have what it takes to buy it? DO YOU HAVE CASH?'. Bleh, I can SO imagine that. *rolls eyes*

This is injustice. I can't always keep up with the times and buy every new model of game console they come up with everytime. Take Tales for example. I can't play the soon-to-be-released next-Tales-of (nor can I buy it) because it'll be released on the PlayStation 3. How unfair is that?! ANd I've seen glimpses of the artwork done by the designing team -they are MARVELLOUS.

So, that's one game gone.

And don't get me started on KH3D. I am really pissed because just when my brother bought the NDSi, I came home and went on the internet, only to realise that KH's newest installment was going to be released on the Nintendo 3DS!!!!!! And from what my sister told me, they guy in the shop did say that another new version of NDS was going to come out probably next year. GAH!!!!!!

But oh well, lil' bro did say that maybe they can't configure the original consoles now (eg PS3), so that's a SLIGHT relief.

Still, I WANT THAT KH3D GAME!!!!!!! GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! T.T

Sigh, indulgence. My wants. I am never satisfied. This is a very bad thing. I should be content and look on the bright side that I am able to play most of the games I want to (with the exception of a few, I can't find FF9 anymore because it was one of the last games for the PS1), but, but but but but, satisfaction never comes easily for me. Sad.

I wish everything could be released on the PS2. I like the PS2, it's not that old (okay, maybe it is, but hey, the PS1 is older!), but not that new and sophisticated, and I find that the controls of the games made for it are suitable for me.

Okay. I should end this post now. Two posts in a day, that's quite an improvement for me :)

To end with a happy mood, I shall post a picture of KH Birth by Sleep found just a while ago.

Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep (C) Square Enix.

I want a Wacom tablet for Christmas.

Contradiction, it always happens

Inspiration comes at the very wrong moments. It's kinda sad. I value sleep as much as I value my two cuddly, cute pillows (snuggles) and manga and books, and well, let's just say that when I'm about to shut my eyelids, it's like a lightbulb finally working after a day's break down, something that goes like 'ding!' and the storms hit my brain like frantic people running away from typhoons banging on your door, though you'll soon be whisked away by the typhoon anyway. Meh.


And I'm just too damn lazy to get up, grab that pencil and a sheet of paper and start sketching. Or turn on my computer just to get all that stupid last-minute ideas down for the next chapter. You can't also expect me to just abandon whatever house chores my mum orders asks me to do halfway and start getting those ideas down on paper or source avavilable! FYI, I value my skin and life (and ears) more than anything else, including the few points I listed up there.

And when I'm so free after cleaning the floor, it doesn't come. Gah. Darn it.


So, conclusion? Inspiration is bitch.





But it can also be awesome, especially when it hits.

911 9.1

It's 911 9.1 (first September, not 11th September sorry) today, and on this very sad, solemn day, five poor frogs, two disgusting, horrible, pathetic pitiful cockroaches passed away and are burried in the SMK Infant Jesus Convent field after being cruelly handled and disected by the students of 4 Science 2. The two fishies were lucky because of their slippery scales and managed to escape the clutches of the nightmare they were destinedabout to face.

Right now, as I sit right here typing this funnysad, solemn post, let us all take a minute from our busy busy lives and mourn for the poor victims of the Biology disection lesson held in the bio lab for class 4 Science 2 earlier today.


(One moment of silence.)



I'll never be the same, if we ever meet again. -If We Ever Meet Again, Timbaland feat. Katy Perry


Yes, fellow pest/enemy of the human race, my fellow groupmates and I have disected you and accidentally (without realising it) killed you before you were even supposed to die because we didn't know your heart was attached to your skin surface and tore it apart. Oh well, at least we got to see your alimentary canal.

Dearest cockroach, I will never be the same if we ever meet again. Thank you for sacrificing your life to become an experiment and a chance for us to learn. We sincerely hope that you attain nirvana in your afterlife despite the many germs and bacteria as well as trouble and death you have brought to mankind. (salutes)



Okay, moving on, we disected animals and pests today. It was... disgustinginteresting. During the funeral, we sang a few songs and threw some petals of flowers we plucked from the bush beside the field down the burial pit. It was sad, yet funny because we kept making each other laugh with our lame jokes and comments. XD And after all the live, unsewn, unconscious animals and pests were gathered in the pit, we used the cangkul and started to fill up the hole the lab assistant has so kindly dug for them. After everything was done, we laid a bouquet of flowers on the top, wished them good luck and whatever, and went back to the bio lab.

A gentle reminder to fellow students: the school field has apparently turned into a graveyard for all our biology disection specimen (including past years, I suppose) and therefore it is greatly appreciated that you do not step foot into the field late at night in fear of you being haunted by the ghosts of biology specimen past (unless you wish to be so). Thank you for your attention.


Pictures and a video of the funeral can be found on the Facebook pages of LC and Hui Wen (if they ever upload it, that is).



That's all for now. Two more days to two weeks of holidays, yesh! I am anticipating!


Peace out,
this is me signing off.

:/

There is a barrier between me and my blog now, for some reason. Whenever I think of something to write, and open my blogger page, something stops me.


This is bad.






Suddenly, I feel like watching Pokemon again. You know, childhood revisiting?

aftermath

Hello there, just finished UF2, and like every test stupid people like me go through, I'm sure everyone knows the result so I won't go there. The outcome is horrendous anyway.


Anyways, moving on, I realised I have really a lot of sad/emo posts lately, so this is gonna be the opposite, or at least, not that emo. Okay, to lighten up, here's a grin:

:D

Lol. Okay, that wasn't funny. Shoot, what was I gonna write in this post again?


Never mind, moving away from that, I'm starting on The Red Pyramid by Rick Riordan. It's not bad, though PJ still rocks the socks! Actually, I started a bit before exams, and being the typical me, I flipped to the ending, and it sort of spoiled the whole element of surprise thing. Hmm.. Oh well, I'm anticipating lots of books this year!!! (huge grin) Mockingjay is just released (my sister likes that series for some reason), Diary of a Wimpy Kid book 5 (Nov), PJ- The Lost Hero (Oct) and many more.... Oh yes, I saw Mini Shopaholic on that Popular Bookfest catalogue, quite surprising, I thought the series ended already. And no, I don't read Shopaholic (Workaholic sounds better, imagine someone slaving their guts out for work, that'd be awesome), my sister just happened to buy the series for some reason... Meh. Oh well, the product of human pleasures' seduction....

But somehow the damsel in distress always gets saved at the end of the day. Is there some story where the protagonist actually dies in shame and humiliation?! Lemme think.... no, I haven't encountered any of those stories AT ALL. So far.



I shall be facing the horrors of failing grades tomorrow (or friday). Yay.


Peace out.

Missing Pepper

Salt on Black Friday. Was okay, Angelina Jolie was awesome as usual (hot chick), but the plot could have been improved a bit more. They should really produce a sequel. It could probably even be called 'Pepper'. Haha...

I wrote a long vent about my feelings lately, but suddenly my computer decided to self-shut-down, leaving the rant unsaved. And obviously, vents are depressing, sad and melancholic, and I'm not really in that state of mind where I can gladly type everything back again like it was normal.

I just hope that you can tell me what's wrong, instead of me having to guess your moods youare experiencing lately. It is very hard to start a conversation with you recently, unlike how it used to be where we can just chatter on forever. I am very sad. Is it me? You have to tell me, because four years of bestfriendship is very important to me, and I don't really want to lose a great friend like you who has always been with me, especially the times when I needed you. But now, it's gone. And I don't know who I can turn to anymore, because you seem very eager to get rid of me. And although I sound self-conceited, but I am the type where when I feel you are pushing me away, I will stop talking to you because I feel you do not like me, and to save both ourselves from trouble, I go away.

I don't want that to happen to us, because you are my best friend, and it really hurts to be pushed away. So, I am hoping that you can tell me what your problem is, since we are best friends, wait, more than best friends (for me, that is, I don't know how you see it in your perspective) I don't mind if you criticise me for something I have done unconsciously to upset you. I don't probe, because I know you don't like it, and right now, I am hanging on tightly to the belief that you will tell me when the time is right.


It just hurts to be ignored by you, okay? I know I am right now classified as attention-seeking and pathetic, but I just cherish these years of best-friendship so much that I don't want to lose it. I just hope you understand, and can tell me if you actually don't want me to hang around with you.


I am sad, I am really very sad. Because sometimes when I just happen to glance at you, I see a tinge of disgust and disapproval towards me in you. I know I am not the best person to be with, and I have my faults, but I am working on them so I can be better, and we can patch up this piece of friendship I treasure a lot. I am trying to be patient with you, but I am not a saint. Is it because of my previous sudden period of business that has somehow let you think I don't need you? No, it isn't like that. Never was. Or is it because there was a time I was constantly absent in class and school that made you move on? I know, life moves on, people move on. But is it too late for me to mend this weird feeling similiar to cold war you have been seemingly pouring me with? If it is so, and I am a nuisance, it would be nice if you could just tell me you are sick of me and want other better friends far more better than me. I will grieve, and probably cry, but at least I know what your true feelings are, and I will know how to act on them.

First it was the settling down after the period of busy-ness, then I thought it was because of the music examination, but now, I don't know what is bothering you.

I am sorry if I unconsciously upsetted you over something, I am really very sorry. But I hope this last time works, because after some time, I will interpretate your body langauge as you don't want me wherever you are, and I think I wll stop trying.


You don't want to tell or people to know, youu act like normal, okay? People worry, and when they ask and you say "really? No, I'm okay," but you show that emo face saying that everything's not okay, it just sometimes make me want to goddamn ask you what the hell s wrong. You don't tell, no one will know. you don't tell, I won't know, because only like 2 percent of the best friends in this world have this telepathy thing, but not me, I am not a sixth sense person.


I am really very sad. This has made me change my perspective about the word 'change' itself. I used to accept it, and move along with it, but right now, I'm not so sure anymore.

..

.....


Suddenly, I wshed I had never added the lineart.

Sense of satisfaction

Phew, August is here. So soon.


In another few more months, 2010 will be gone. :/


Anyways, just finished colouring a picture for the School Magazine. I AM VERY PROUD OF MYSELF FOR ACCOMPLISHING THIS TASK! ALL IN MY LIFE I HAVE ONLY DRAWN ONE WATERCOLOUR PICTURE (and half or 3/4 of it was by Ami sensei) BUT AFTER 8 MONTHS OF NOT DRAWING, I HAVE MANAGED TO PROUDUCE A COLOURED PIECE (of course, with reference from Sola , Spiral: Alive and Detective Conan artbooks) WITHOUT THE HELP OF A TEACHER! YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

BUT, capital B-U-T, there are a lot of mistakes, obviously. The hair is odd, because when I draw manga I always draw it in back and white, and therefore neglect the light reflection and stuff. SO right now, I'm glad I am able to accomplish something like this on my own. Yay! Shall ask Charlene the art genius (no kidding! She's awesome!) in private about my mistakes and how to correct them tomorrow. But for now, I'm just waiting for the picture to really dry up before adding the artline, and then ta da! It'll be done!



I'm quite proud about my clouds, though some are incorrect and are atrocious, but hey, some parts are awesome like how it's done in the books! Yay!!! XDXDXDXD

Vent

God, what the hell's your freaking problem! Can't you see I'm doing something I prefer to do ALONE?! STOP HOVERING OVER THERE LIKE SOME BUZZING THING SNOOPING AROUND TO SEE WHAT I DO!

Appreciate your concern, but god, stop it lah for god's sake. ANd you stand there like what "oh don't worry I'm not gonna read your blog, just gonna sit here BESIDE YOU and look around anywhere but your monitor'.

Yeah right you liar. I know I'm not supposed to say this, but gah, just stop, okay? Everytime you start swooping around me when I'm using the internet it irritates to to NO END you know? I hate it when I have no privacy. you'd better even thank god that I didn't even request for a separate, single room for myself or else you definitely won't see me outside my room for most of the time. And you'd better be glad that I didn't request for you to install a freaking wall and door between the stairway and my table.

Oh come on for god's sake, have some maturity can you? Every time I start projecting the feeling I don't want you here (and I'm sure you received it) I OBVIOUSLY AM HINTING FOR YOU TO GO AWAY.


God, what the hell's your problem? It's not like I'm having some secret boyfriend or looking at porn sites to relieve stress like how some other idiots in this world do. God, would I even ever stoop that low?! So right now, I ask of you, not to get out of my life, because obviously I still need you sometimes, but to just give me some fucking privacy instead of always hovering around me like I'm some sort of kid that needs to be shielded from bird shit or something.


God. Damn you lah. SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOTTA STOP IRRITATING THE FUCK OUT OF PEOPLE! JUST FUCKING STOP CAN YOU!?



Emotionally unstable now, because things aren't going well today (not the charades, I'm not some person to dwell on things like that after I vented it on blogger) and the last thing I need is people to tick me off by trying to disturb me (ie trying to play/poke me in the thigh) when I'm in a bad mood and on the computer. Fucking shit lah. I just need to vent. Gah, stop it, would you? I've been keeping these comments to myself and too bad for you, you caught me on the wrong day when I'm angry anf feeling stupid with myself for something so just stfu and get lost for now and come back later.


I just want to freaking curse all the choice words I have in mind now but can't. Goddamn it all. Who the hell needs a restraining order on internet? I can't believe I can't say what I want to on my ranting space, I am seriously considering locking my blog (have been thinking about it ever since before time has started, not because of the trend, I'm not some person to follow trends and be un-original) right now, and I think I will.


Yeah right, you'd think I haven't thought of the consequences I have to face later if someone catches me choosing colourful words to put on my blog but you're wrong, I have thought about it, just that right now I don't think I need to give a shit about why I can't say what I want to when I'm pissed like hell. So shut up and go hide in a corner. I'm kinda sick about my cowardly ways. This is my ranting space when I feel that I don't want to go to anyone else, especially since counsellors are useless people who betray your trust and tell the whole school about what's going on with this troubled kid and doesn't do anything anyway except tell your parents about what crime you did in school and don't even try to help you anyway. They just do it for the money. Yeah, money is what drives them. Fuck them. You'd think your secret can be safe with them? you're wrong, they tell their friends about what's going with you, and they give you that look everytime they see you. And give fake smiles and some of them don't even care about trying to be a real counsellor.

Hah, students who are late don't need counselling anyway. They just need a good lecture, not counselling, unless something special happens. There are like way more poeple I know who need freaking counselling but don't even have them and deal it with themselves. I know the don't tell don't know system works here, but honestly, if you were a bloody good counsellor, everyone would start approaching you for their problems. but apparently not here. You don't project that image, so too bad for you.


That aside. I've chilled down a bit. But that angry flame is still inside me, and I don't think it'll be going off anytime soon until I feel better. I'm not ashamed about what I said above, because I'm unsatisfied with them, and thus even though it's offensive, I think at least it leaves a larger impact on their minds and they could/might change their ways if they ever read it. Don't think I don't know, sometimes I know you read my blog, because I saw you commiting it once on someone else's and my sixth sense for my belongings and stuff are quite strong, though it may not be correct.


So, to chill down, I'm changing my blog privacy, because I can't stand that OMG YOU USED A BAD WORD/YOU USED THE WORD "FUCK' SO YOU NEED COUNSELLING. Is it even that bad? Yeah it is. I know, it affects how people look at us. but sometimes we're just so damn fucking angry/frustrated at YOU (and you don't even realise, hah!) we just need to vent it out so we can become normal again. And if we're not normal, you look at us weirdly like it's our fault and ask so many damn annoying questions when obviously it's your fault for closing off our ranting space. I know, find other ways of venting lah, like sports, but hello, some of us just don't like. Too bad? Our business? Yeah hell, of course it's our business. It's just basically like saying you have to copy 100 lines of "I will not forget to bring my books again" instead of just giving us a lecture so we can get over it soon.

Hah.



Fuck. My menstrual cycle must be around the corner. Darn, this rant felt good, I haven't ranted in ages like this. Ahhhhhhhhhh....................

But doesn't mean I'm off the pissed-off mood. I still am at myself, so don't provoke me for the time being. Thank you. Have a nice day ahead, and don't end up like me.

esprit de corps

Law Olympiad was okay. Screwed up 'Guess what'/charades though. Stupid Yong Tau Hu, screw cendol. How we were supposed to act out these food that weren't even in English you tell me.

Did okay for the rest though, a few of our answers were quite different from the scheme they had, but since the judging were based on reasonableness and logic, we managed to do okay, and emerged 3rd place (for us Form 4 team). Yay.

As for our Form 5 team...................................... WE BAGGED THE CHAMPION SPOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! CONVENT ROCKSSS!!!! ROCKE ROCKE!!!! XDXDXDXDXDXDXDXD AND WON RM1500, a trophy, medals, and certificates for the olympiad!


But nothing for the third place. Only the first and second got something. Darn.



Tang wants to come back next year, I'm not so sure if I want to. Oh well.


Thank you Mr. person-in-charge-of-marketing-or something for giving us a chance to to one more charade even though our time was up. Your understanding touched our hearts, and we're glad at least SOMEONE WITH A KIND HEART AND A REASONABLE,LOGIC MIND WHO THINKS PUTTING MALAY WORDS IN CHARADES WHERE WE THINK IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE IN ENGLISH IS ABSURD is on our side. Thanks, we hope we didn't give you a hard time when Ms. Kathleen caught you not stopping us. We truly appreciated your understanding.


Okay, maybe I'm the one being unreasonablefor the charades game, but it's because we lost on this one that's why we didn't get 2nd place!! GAH! At least if we get five we could bag the second spot, but no, our lucky stars just had to betray us and go to some other teams that got SUPERHEROES LIKE SPIDERMAN or cutlery while we were bummed with Malaysian food. Well, it is particularly our fault as we didn't catch what Nicolette was trying to tell us by stressing MALAYsian food. Sorry pal, we didn't notice. Our minds were so wrapped up with MALAYSIAN and pushing away thoughts of pasta, steak and such.

Honestly...

Gah. It's fine, what's gone is gone. At least we tried our best.


All in all, it was okay I guess. We just have to let go of our charades and look someplace else.

:')

We do stuff, we screw up, we feel the guilt, we learn.





On a side note, finished 'If I Stay' a few days ago, and had the inspiration to post for this blog. Unfortunately, personal circumstances disallowed me to do so. But, it's a great book, greater than Percy Jackson or some Sarah Dessen books (Just Listen is still tops though) and on a standing with The Giver (Lois Lowry), in my opinion. Music/cello lovers should read it. (The heroine is a very skilled cello player, so this should inspire you guys to work harder for music.)


That's all for now. I think.

Disbelief

Shocking news. Mangakas disapprove of online manga scanlations. NO!!!!!!!!!!!

That means no more online manga!!! No! Mangaka's disapproval + ban of online manga scanlation = no more online manga + have to spend more money to buy tankobon (manga volume series)!!


I refuse to agree with this! It is with online manga scanlations that I have saved my time and money and need not wait hell for the latest manga chapters!!!

Grrrrr...... Buuurrrnnn.........

Waiting

Everything stops when I need them to go.

Rantspace blackhole

*31/7 edit* THis was previously unpublished because someone I confided in told me not to tell anyone about this, but right now, since my blog's off public-hands, I'm posting it because I don't really like typing what I feel andkeeping it unposted. For me, it feels idiotic, because since I have the guts to write this, why don't I have the guts to post it? Anyways, yeah, whatever.
Enjoy my rant-slash-the dark side of my life. *edit note fin*

Major rant and teenage related problems ahead. Beware, you've been warned.

Something happened in chemistry today, and it honestly got me thinking for the whole day....

Who am I exactly?

Okay, before you launch off into judgmental note about me being some attention-seeking, undecided teenager who is still finding her identity and all that worthless shitless crap, stop it. As a matter a fact, I'd say that actually I thought I had it figured out waaayyy back then since I entered Form Two or so.

But lately, with all that stupid 16 drama that somehow magically happens (my ass), I find myself doubting every second of what I had thought of back then. For instance, a very simple one, when everyone (especially my sister) were so undecided about what they wanted to do in the future, I would secretly scoff and told them proudly I knew what I wanted. I couldn't be an illustrator or cartoonist, so I would work with my language skills and become a linguist or something to do with language. But now, I find myself wondering if I had really wanted to study linguistics; it's too broad, too general.

This happened a few months ago, right at the start of the year I suppose, so now I conclude that as time passes by and you start growing up, you somehow find yourself weighing and considering more options you had never thought of when you were much younger. Is this a sign of maturity? Or is it a sign of downright indecision that starts to cloud your mind?


Anyways, moving on, chemistry today. Someone said something, and that something made me think of another thing. Maybe it's just me, but truthfully I am a very self-conscious person (sounds obnoxious, but don't judge, this is the raw side of me). So when that someone said something, I wondered, what do friends see you as in their own mind anyway? First they see the first impressions you leave on them, and because you weren't very sure of yourself, you tend to shut off the wilder, more fun-seeking side of yourself, and try to start building a good relationship with your friends.

And from that moment onwards, your friends you see as the person in the first impressions you had left on them, and never thought of anything else.

But as time passes by and you get more comfortable, it starts to leak out. You start being the one you supposed it was you, the bolder side of you, and not some rebellious streak that came at the wrong place wrong time. But somehow, maybe your friends aren't used to the one they are seeing now, or maybe they just have personal issues against something you don't know. I don't know. And they start whispering things that somehow like my friend has said, catches up with you and you catch hold of them.

Is it correct? Are friends not the ones who should accept for who you are alongside with your family? What is it that I have done so insensitively to make you feel like this? Tell me, and I'll work on it. But just something I'd like to share, right up to the moment before I heard about that 'something', even though I was busy doing something else, I felt quite happy for the first time since I graduated from primary school. I know, I have friends now that I cherish even more than my primary school ones, but I felt as if despite all the chaos happening, I was starting to creep out of that shell around me ever since I built it after form one, daring to show frustration and anger and not keep a silly "everything's my fault and not yours even though actually it's yours and you're angering me like hell and deep down I feel like skinning you" smile.

Those who read this might think all this while I'm fake and all, but it's just another teenage problematic phase I'm recovering from right now, and I'm glad I'm getting out of it because I'm sick of it.

So just when I thought things were going fine, it jumped out on me so suddenly. Am I wrong? Yes, I think I'm partly at fault for not warning what kind of person I am, but if it's not all about this, then why don't you just tell me? Have I neglected you? If I did, then I'm sorry, I didn't think you needed me because you looked fine to me, though looks can be deceiving.


Things are easier said than done, that is something I know and understand. It's just like I actually have the guts to write this all down and show it to the world but I might not have what it takes to fully crawl out of that old shell in just a matter of minutes, doing a 360 degrees turn.

But I'm working on it, so why can't you work on telling me what you think I did wrong straight to my face? I'm not some fragile piece of china antique, even though I can't believe and had a hard time swallowing the fact that someone said that, but at least after some time's thinking, I realised it was a good chance for me to self-reflect on what I was doing lately, as I seem to lose track of my actions due to the busy-ness in school. So I thank you for saying that, because right now I am more aware of my actions, but it would still be good to give me a reason/explanation on why you said that.


Honestly, I would really appreciate it if you did. Thanks.



This post might contain some typos or grammatical error because I'm using my sister's Mac to type, and it's quite tiring since it feels weird and I'm exhausted from this whole week's activities, so yeah.

Good night.

Overspill

Don't mean to sound like some conceited person but after a few days of not checking my inbox, I sure do have a LOT of mail-reading to catch up!

Good god.


Sigh, right now, all I want to do is just flop down in my bed, hot cup of ocha by my side and a book in hand. I've bought quite a number for the past two weeks, and that's the main contributing factor I'm penniless right now.

How am I supposed to survive for the rest of the month? (No, don't answer that, it's obviously a rhetorical question.)


My english is getting from bad to the worst. I need to brush up.


Anyways, chaos and all that shit aside, life's been okay I guess. I'm just glad I bought a lot of books that I think I will read (yay) and after this whole thingweek is over, I will have time before UF2 to read a couple of good books.

Goodynight peeps. Off to rush for CC stuff. And yet, another sleepless, tiring night.



Honestly, I should sign myself up for an apprenticeship with Superwoman. Why not Wonder woman? Because Superwoman is non-existent, thus making this whole thing pointless. What the hell am I crapping about? I have no idea, nor should you ask. Anyways, shutting up now and signing off. Goodbye, and sleep tight. Sleep for me since I can't (nope, not a vampire, I'm not perfect nor am I unrealistic) and so tata.

Hanging on

Gah, STUPID CLIFFHANGERS!!!!!!!!!!!

I know it's like, the 500th chapter, and Kishimoto-sensei has definitely given us a nice, lovely scene when Naruto was born, BUT GAH!!!!!!!!!!!!! MUST HE LEAVE IT IN A STUPID CLIFFANGER WHEN THAT STUPID MASKED MAN (Uchiha Madara, I suspect) SNATCHES NARUTO AWAY???!!!

Duh, of course I know what happened next, but I'd love to read the details. Gah, Kishimoto you- you- darn, I can't curse him, or the world won't have anymore Naruto chapters to read.


Bleh. Another week. Precisely the reason I don't like pursuing ongoing stuff; you just have to wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait..............

until there's no tomorrow.

It's July now...

The time where summer starts getting ugly, I suppose.

On a side note, 'What Happened to Goodbye' will be out in May 2011, according to her blog. yes! I will look foward to the day get to read an excerpt from her website!!! (evil, toothless grin)


Can you believe it? July is here already. In a moment, everything flashes by, and you're left standing, wondering what the hell had just happened.

What did I exactly (besides procrastinating) do for the past six months?

Moment of enlightenment

Was supposed to sit for the UNSW Writing exam today. Note, SUPPOSED. Our school didn't have enough people to participate in the exam (because it's ONLY RM55 for an INTERNATIONAL standard paper, coughcoughcheapskatescoughcough) so we were sort of like disqualified.


I know what I say next might be offensive, but honestly, people should really think more about their future and how participating in more global activities can help them gain the upper hand when they step out into society. It's not all about A's, you know. You're just an empty shell if youonly have stupid strings of A's within your grasp.

Plus, what are you going to tell your grandkids and grand-relatives next time when you look back? Surely not something like "I remember when I was in high school, I had no life. I only studied my ass off to acheive straight A's."

:/

Well, maybe you want that, but not me. I want to tell something great and awesome to someone when I grow up, so that when I look back, I can say at least I did something for the school and myself.

Of course, I don't mean tiring yourself out with endless projects and taking them all when you can't handle them! God, that would suck. I just think we should manage and divide out time proportionally to try as much as possible to enjoy life. Life is a bitch, doubtlessly, so I feel we should try to overcome it and make it the best we can.



Wondering what made me write this, I don't really type stuff like this for people to see cos' I know youngsters our age don't really like listening to advice like this (to the point where it sometimes becomes some annoying self-righteousness lame shit). Not that I enjoy them, but we really gain lots of positive things as long as we don't misinterpretate the message and stop being so judgemental.

Off to complete my side projects if possible. Toodles.

Where's my next stop?

I look ridiculous right now. Honest. It's a haircut I don't think I ever had before, though mum says it looks the same as many of those I had way back then.

Hn. Whatever. I finally managed to step across the barrier and part with my hair. Sigh, my head feels so light suddenly.

Off to complete my ELS button dolls and find more stuff for CC, not to mention I haven't done ANY homework at all and my moral assignment's still waiting for me. This is going to be a very busy week again.


Sigh.


P.S: It sucks so much when there aren't any 'The Girl Who Could Fly' fandoms on FFN at all. Gah. @#$%^&*

The beginning after the end

Somehow, I had difficulties spelling the word 'beginning', and I had to consult my trusty dictionary that has been with me since Standard 5.

This is worrisome. Oh dear.

Anyways, mid-years are over, ad what's left is a pile of homework I've procrastinated completing since yongst years. Meh, whatever. These can come later, right now, I just want to enjoy the peace and silence in the dead of the night. It's a wonderful thing, you know, when everyone's asleep and you're the only one awake in your house, music blasting in your ears, checking on the status updates on FB, etc. I think I deserve this, even though it won't be a pretty sight tomorrow morning (probably won't be able to wake up).

Gah, I couldn't care less. Gah.


FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO WERE ALERT JUST A FEW HOURS AGO DURING DUSK, THERE WAS AN ECLIPSE! AND FREAKING HELL I WITNESSED IT!!! YESH!!!!!!!!!!! I ROCK MY SOCKS AND LIVE IN A BOX!!!!

Haha, captured a few pictures, okay, two to be specific. But I missed the full lunar eclipse though, I only saw the back part. I suspect the peak of the lunar eclipse happened at six something when the sky was still bright. Hm, shame, but still, I WITNESSED MY FIRST FREAKING LUNAR ECLIPSE!!!!!!!! YESH!!!!!!!!! AFTER SIXTEEN YEARS OF LIVING!

Shall post the pictures later when I feel like it.


On a side note, I have just finished 'The Girl Who Could Fly' by Victoria Forester and it was AWESOME. Well, a few things I thought were just so-so (can't really put a name to it though) but some parts were just SUPERB!!!! I recommend it to everyone especially poeple who like fantasy stories!!! It's a MUST-READ I tell you! MUST READ! IT'S A 4.99/5.00 STAR BOOK!!!!

Okay, the 0.01 percent went missing for some unknown reason. But still, it's the best book I've read so far in the past few months. I'd love a sequel!!! Go Victoria Forester!!!!! Stop screenwriting and start on a new book already damn it! Hint hint! Sequels are fantabulous!


My mum says I'm going my front hair's going bald. So, after lots and lots of serious overthinking and opinions from some friends I asked, I think to save my future forehead and front hair from being ruined (as well as my chances of getting into a high class private company to work in), I am going to cut a hideous fringe tomorrow at the barber's.

But I'll still consult the barber first and ask him for opinions. After all, he is the pro, and if it looks hideously horible, I could always blame it on him (THE BLAME GAME).


Lol, kidding. The decision is still up to me. I've developed a close bond with my front hair for more than a year already, it's so long that I could just flip it back to my shoulder!! So... after all that keeping and resistance to the deadly scissors, it's kinda hard to part with something you're attached too. (sniffs)

But don't be surprised if I actually showed up in school on Monday with a fringe. Not that I think many people care, but gah, whatever. I'm a bit too sleepy to phrase my choice of words correctly (and precisely), so excuse any of my mistakes in this post.

In conjunction with my 250th post on blogger (i.e the last two posts), I decided to type it in chinese to make it a bit more special. :D But basically it's about the "what-if's" in life, doubt you'd want to read it anyway.


It's been a while since I've written such a long post, and it feels weird. Hmm.

Off to sleep. Goodnight, world. Please don't appear in my dreams and give me one hell of a stupid headache tomorrow morning. Many thanks in advance.

Passing time

All in honesty, I don't expect much for mid-years. As long as I pass, I'm as happy as a kid who witnessed christmas coming early.


But sadly, I have a feeling passing half of the subjects I've taken is going to be a very challenging thing. First, there's Add Maths. Then, there's the famous three sciences, History and so on. God, I don't even think I can get a B for my English Literature (CHOI, I HOPE I GET B AND ABOVE).

That's gonna be the first English test I didn't get an A for in my whole sixteen years of existence.

Last day of exam tomorrow, followed by relief, then loads of homework (Moral assignment, Biology notes etc), side projects for the school, and a whole list of things-to-do-after-exam. I feel like superman!

Not. I am not a transexual, nor am I bi.


I miss Kinokuniya, somehow. If only I could go to Singapore (SALE SALE SALE!! BOOKS TOO -I think-).

如果

世界上，真的有好多好多的如果啊。

如果假期能久一点， 那该有多好啊。。。
如果当时有好好地利用时间，那该有多好啊。。。
如果之前有好好地自我反省的话，那我现在就不用后悔，不用责备自己了；那该有多好啊。。。


如果现在一切是梦的话，真好啊。



只可惜，
它不是。

At this moment in time,

which can be summarised into just a word, 'NOW'. I do realise that lots of people in this region tend to use lengthy words unnecessarily, for some unknown reason. I don't see why we actually have to do so when we just need to get our point across and using extra, redundant words won't really change your message into something more... stunning but as a matter a fact, under some circumstances, it makes you look silly and gives out the wrong feeling that you are being some... err... english-professional-wannabe. (No offence meant to anyone, even I do this sometimes without realising my mistake.)

But such circumstances are often evident in composing letters, which brings us to my main point.

I met someone yesterday who wanted my sis to write a letter to the school (god, what is she, brainless? Can't she write a damn letter herself?) regarding her absence in school. And I peeked a bit (shame on me) and saw that it was TOO longwinded. So, being the nosy me, I pointed it out to my sister.

"Oi, too long lah the letter, letters must be short and simple and CLEAR."

"Aiyah, what to do? She wants it to be long."


Oh for god's sake, what's the point of adding 'the plane tickets are booked earlier (and stuff like that) so we are unable to cancel blah blah blah" when you actually stated it was a compulsory family matter?

Plus, I doubt the school actually wants to hear so much about your grandmother's story, duh. If they wanted to, they'd actually call up and demand for it.

All in all people, redundancy is a major issue around here, sadly. We should really revise our policy on letter writing.



Down with the flu and sore throat, and on the week before school reopens too. Darn, I have yet to study. Sucks.


My funeral creeps near. I should get myself a coffin.

New direction in interests

Ever since I read the ending of FMA, I've been going back to the beginning and started to reread the whole series again, because towards the rising action and the middle part, I actually skimmed through the pages only despite buying each volume faithfully (the words were all old chinese, and Arakawa-sensei is such an amazing mangaka that most of her scenes are in battle with lots of lines and stuff to show the effects and speed of each movement, so yeah, it's very..... err... complicated?)


Anyways, I'm almost at the end of the series, and I noticed that out of all antagonists I love Kimblee the most (oops). Well, he is a sadist during the Ishval war and stuff but hey, towards the end he totally helped in destroying Pride (Selim Bradley) and said "You don't understand Edward Elric at all."

SO COOL. (Well, for me, that is)

Anyways, his parting was really excellently styled as well, showing him with his usual western suit and coat, bidding goodbye with his top hat (you should see it for yourself, chapter 106, page 39).

Gah, he is one hell of an antagonist, probably the best I've seen so far.

:3



"A lesson without pain is meaningless, for you cannot gain something without sacrificing something else in return. But once you have overcome it and made it your own, you will gain an irreplaceable full metal heart." -Fullmetal Alchemist, the final chapter 108.

Owari

Nine years of serialization, and like everything else, it ends with a happy ending.

:)

Fullmetal Alchemist was a blast, I can't wait for Brotherhood to finish running and release the DVDs, now that the manga has ended.


Awesome job, Arakawa-sensei, it was fun reading FMA!

OMG

OMG OMG OMG READ THIS I'M SO GODDAMNED HAPPY I CAN JUST FLY TO THE MOON AND DROP DEAD DUE TO SUFFOCATION BUT HEY BEFORE I EVEN TRY FLYING I THINK I'LL FREAKING FALL TO THE GROUND BECAUSE I CAN'T FLY, STUPID ME

Quote, "I've written here a lot lately about how I've been working like crazy on my new book, which just went back to my editor to commence another round of revisions. One thing that's already changed: the title. It was CUT AND RUN. Actually, it was BEING REAL, but everyone hated that except for me, which is par for the course. Nobody ever likes my original titles. That's why THE FOREVER became THE TRUTH ABOUT FOREVER and STORY OF MY LIFE became JUST LISTEN and LOST AND FOUND became LOCK AND KEY. So I don't sweat it much. Usually, though, the novel itself isn't announced until the title is totally set, but this is number ten, so things happen. Which is a super long way of saying that CUT AND RUN is now WHAT HAPPENED TO GOODBYE. And it will stay that way. I think.", unquote.


Taken from Sarah Dessen's very own livejournal. Link:
http://writergrl.livejournal.com/


Yesh!!! HER NEW BOOK THAT'S COMING OUT NEXT YEAR, THAT IS 2011 (according to Wikipedia, though they haven't changed the title from 'Cut and Run' to 'What Happened to Goodbye', hn). FINALLY, WE HAVE SOMETHING TO LOOK FOWARD TO WITH A NAME!

Personally I prefer 'What Happened to Goodbye' to 'Cut and Run', but whatever Sarah Dessen decides to name her books (though sadly, I have a feeling she doesn't have much say in the matter), I will love them. So, the original titles rock too!

I suppose the book will be out in the summer of 2011 since most of her novels are summer reads. I can't wait for her to announce the plot!!! God, this is the best thing since... well, since lots of bad stuff happened. Meh.

Three cheers to Sarah Dessen!!!


I can't stop grinning. God, I suck.



P.S: I don't own the quote (duh) nor anything that's not mine (MAJOR DUH) in the content above, just thought I'd clarify things in case some thickheadspeople misunderstand.

Random

Oh god, this is one of the shittiest exams I've ever taken in my whole sixteen years of existence. No, seriously, it is. PMR wasn't even this bad.

I have officially screwed my life. Congratulate me this instant.


On a side note, I bought Chobits (manga)!!!!! YAY! For 70 bucks..... I'm broke. But it's okay, now I have five Clamp works sitting in my books shelf, hehehe...

Next desired manga(s), Lady Georgie. And the list will go on I'm sure.


Read the latest chapter of Naruto, and holy matrimony his mother appears!!!


Writing muse not back yet, hence a sucky, crappy post. I apologize.

And you wonder...

Sometimes, you wonder whether you made the right decision or not, and you wonder what would have happened if it was the other way around, if you were to choose the other option/path laid out for you. You wonder, as you look at the sky, what it feels like to be free like the birds that fly to their heart's content, yet, after a moment's pause, you wonder if you were that bird and got shot by a barbaric inhumane hunter, and everything's gone just in a sudden, so unexpectedly.

As you sit at the back of the car, resting your head against the head rest, you wonder what would it be like if you were in someplace different now, leading a different life, instead of the crappy life you've been shitting for god knows how long. Yet, something hits you, and you start wondering if you were born into someplace worse than what you're going through now, and you shy away from all thoughts you have in your mind and close your eyes to sleep.

You wonder if the decision you made was correct, whether it was correct to accept without questioning, to relent and give in to something you would much rather not. You wonder, as you stop and see the backs of the people you're always behind of, why is it always you the one chasing after them, and them always being the ones getting further and further away, until you can't catch up. You wonder, past all barriers and thoughts of being a self-indulged, attention-seeking bitch, why the hell is it always you and not them?

You wonder just why you can't let go, and drift, fade, dissolve, disappear into nothingness.


Sometimes, you just wonder what it feels like to just die and not care.