Law Olympiad on Saturday. And this, along with my much-procrastinated add maths project has been bugging me since forever, giving me hell nights in which I find it hard to sleep through. Okay, there are always exceptions where I get to enjoy myself and forget about it, but in the end reality is such a stubborn bitch in the butt and it still doesn't give up wanting to snap at you.

I've really been feeling down and low recently. The Harry Potter movie was okay. Read the book for more than five times so I knew what was going on, not much of surprises there. The only thing that surprised me was how they depicted Snape's love for Lily, how he hugged her and cry. In my imagination it wasn't like that, but the emotion in the movie was so, so raw I felt sad and depressed during those moments. One of the bad sides of the movie, Albus Severus Potter is too Bieber. Aside from that, no complaints here.

Anyways, coming back. I hate it when I get so stressed up myself. The pressure that everyone expects you to be champions in any competition. For me, I feel that living up to expectations is always the hardest thing in the world. They set the target for you (sometimes insanely and murderously high) and you can't help but feel... I don't know. Scared? Stressed? What if we fail? What if we don't live up to people's expectations and destroy our seniors' records?

I always tell myself that if I am stressed, I just have to de-stress myself. Simple as that. But I don't know why I can't seem to be able to do that now. Time is ticking away. And I know you're probably thinking 'time is slipping away why don't you stop bullshitting around and go do something useful and make yourself useful to society isn't of just sitting here whining like a baby you stupid bitch?'

I'm just so scared. It'd be all glorious and crap if we got first place but this is the price I have to pay.

I feel really heavy, like the past few days I've just been walking around aimlessly with my eyes closed/half-closed or something.
Ther should not be anymore fucking ECA programs after Law Olympiad. I'm sick of them right now I can literally vomit blood if there are anymore of them. I just really want some time of my own now, gearing myself up for trials and having a bland school life wihout fucking assignments to fucking finish and crapshit competitions or ECA activities to participate in.

Fuck this all.