Sometimes, you wonder whether you made the right decision or not, and you wonder what would have happened if it was the other way around, if you were to choose the other option/path laid out for you. You wonder, as you look at the sky, what it feels like to be free like the birds that fly to their heart's content, yet, after a moment's pause, you wonder if you were that bird and got shot by a barbaric inhumane hunter, and everything's gone just in a sudden, so unexpectedly.
As you sit at the back of the car, resting your head against the head rest, you wonder what would it be like if you were in someplace different now, leading a different life, instead of the crappy life you've been shitting for god knows how long. Yet, something hits you, and you start wondering if you were born into someplace worse than what you're going through now, and you shy away from all thoughts you have in your mind and close your eyes to sleep.
You wonder if the decision you made was correct, whether it was correct to accept without questioning, to relent and give in to something you would much rather not. You wonder, as you stop and see the backs of the people you're always behind of, why is it always you the one chasing after them, and them always being the ones getting further and further away, until you can't catch up. You wonder, past all barriers and thoughts of being a self-indulged, attention-seeking bitch, why the hell is it always you and not them?
You wonder just why you can't let go, and drift, fade, dissolve, disappear into nothingness.
Sometimes, you just wonder what it feels like to just die and not care.
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Revival
My interest in Naruto (the show, not the character, heavens no), particularly Minato is revived, for some unknown reason...
Maybe it's because I was watching my lil' bro playing Naruto UN3 (Old stuff, I know, but we're not really allowed to buy more recent games), and he was using Minato and I witnessed his Flying Thunder God jutsu. It was awesome.
And guess what peeps? Minato's gonna be starring in the latest movie scheduled to be released (in Japan, sadly) on the 31st of July. Gah, I'll just have it to wait till next year to get my hands on the movie. Pfft.
Watched the teaser trailer on YouTube, and wow! The movie will definitely kick ass! XD
On a side note, game producers really shouldn't be lessening/stopping the prodcutions of games for the PS2. Majority of us society don't really have the money to buy the latest and much more advanced game consoles such as the PS3 and Xbox. So for families with not much income like mine, I think if we were to fall for their 'you want this PS3 game? Then go buy a PS3' scheme, we would be robbing our parents of their monthly income and doubtless society will face a crisis involving money and such.
Gah, I should stop rambling so much and focus on exams.
Maybe it's because I was watching my lil' bro playing Naruto UN3 (Old stuff, I know, but we're not really allowed to buy more recent games), and he was using Minato and I witnessed his Flying Thunder God jutsu. It was awesome.
And guess what peeps? Minato's gonna be starring in the latest movie scheduled to be released (in Japan, sadly) on the 31st of July. Gah, I'll just have it to wait till next year to get my hands on the movie. Pfft.
Watched the teaser trailer on YouTube, and wow! The movie will definitely kick ass! XD
On a side note, game producers really shouldn't be lessening/stopping the prodcutions of games for the PS2. Majority of us society don't really have the money to buy the latest and much more advanced game consoles such as the PS3 and Xbox. So for families with not much income like mine, I think if we were to fall for their 'you want this PS3 game? Then go buy a PS3' scheme, we would be robbing our parents of their monthly income and doubtless society will face a crisis involving money and such.
Gah, I should stop rambling so much and focus on exams.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
-
Scattered. Yeah, I'm sure everyone goes through that (at least 80 percent of the population, I'm positive).
Or perhaps, a more precise word would be the feeling of being lethargic?
I don't know. A lot has been going on, like a never ending roller coaster. After our mid-year, what's in store for us next?
Obsessed with 'The First One' by Boys Like Girls lately. It's awesome song (for me, that is, if you like sappy love songs). Don't like, don't listen. It's that simple.
Sigh, if only life was that simple.
Or perhaps, a more precise word would be the feeling of being lethargic?
I don't know. A lot has been going on, like a never ending roller coaster. After our mid-year, what's in store for us next?
Obsessed with 'The First One' by Boys Like Girls lately. It's awesome song (for me, that is, if you like sappy love songs). Don't like, don't listen. It's that simple.
Sigh, if only life was that simple.
Friday, May 14, 2010
Not an option
Been youtube-ing ever since I came home from Chemistry, and I have yet to shower. God, I stink. (P-U)
But it's fun, being able to do something I have not done since I don't know when (a year ago, maybe?).
I'm throwing aside my whole shitload of homework and assignments just to spend quality time with my computer, but still, reality will kick in, and the whole cycle goes on again.
Tired, I don't think I'll be getting that well-deserved break soon. Oh dear.
But it's fun, being able to do something I have not done since I don't know when (a year ago, maybe?).
I'm throwing aside my whole shitload of homework and assignments just to spend quality time with my computer, but still, reality will kick in, and the whole cycle goes on again.
Tired, I don't think I'll be getting that well-deserved break soon. Oh dear.
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Thursday, May 6, 2010
Ouch
I am NEVER going near the printer again. Wait, scratch that. Rephrase. I am NEVER REFILLING THE PRINTER INK AGAIN.
Yes, that sounds more like it.
It's okay if it gets my hands dirty, I don't mind. But being jabbed by the ink refiller needle straight into my thigh?!
It more than hurts man (refraining from using vulgarities, just in case some people stumble across my blog and stuff happen coughcoughcoughcough). It's like those injections we get in school for the H1N1 antivirus, chicken pox vaccine or whatsoever, just that a piece of cold substance was not applied/dabbed on my skin beforehand.
Ouch, OUCH.
Okay, I'm exaggerating. But it's now a black spot there! Part of the black ink has not flowed out (even though I did push some out). I'm not really worried about the blck spot, I'm just worried whether my whole leg has to be amputated or not if it's infected with some sort of deadly infection. (T.T)
Oh well, on the bright side, at least it didn't get jabbed into my wrist of carotid or someplace vital. Imagine if it did... Ouch, I'd probably die of blood loss. (sob)
God, I hope nothing happens (crosses fingers).
Yes, that sounds more like it.
It's okay if it gets my hands dirty, I don't mind. But being jabbed by the ink refiller needle straight into my thigh?!
It more than hurts man (refraining from using vulgarities, just in case some people stumble across my blog and stuff happen coughcoughcoughcough). It's like those injections we get in school for the H1N1 antivirus, chicken pox vaccine or whatsoever, just that a piece of cold substance was not applied/dabbed on my skin beforehand.
Ouch, OUCH.
Okay, I'm exaggerating. But it's now a black spot there! Part of the black ink has not flowed out (even though I did push some out). I'm not really worried about the blck spot, I'm just worried whether my whole leg has to be amputated or not if it's infected with some sort of deadly infection. (T.T)
Oh well, on the bright side, at least it didn't get jabbed into my wrist of carotid or someplace vital. Imagine if it did... Ouch, I'd probably die of blood loss. (sob)
God, I hope nothing happens (crosses fingers).
Monday, May 3, 2010
Health Hazardous
As I sat there, sketching my diagrams for tomorrow's peka, it hit me.
I turn to McDonalds when I'm stressed.
I turn to McDonalds when I'm stressed.
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