Drawing and painting those Teresa banners have really sucked the life out of me. I just thank the unseen forces- okay, rephrase, that sounded wrong. I just thank my lucky stars that I have Jie Yu slaving over the banners with me and the occasional help from the drifters that float by.

But even so, I just feel so fucking tired, and like all the spirit of Sport's Day is being vacuumed out of me like a drilling machine on the roll. I don't know why.

The others can't even care less about the banners. They just wanna paint a little and get the marks, despite not dong much. The things that they've done probably aren't even worthy of the marks they're gonna get. I just feel so.... frustrated. I know I shouldn't say this, because at least they've helped in some way, and I should be grateful for it. But for some reason, I'm just not. Somehow my feelings machine has broken down and I'm just sitting down here wondering when it would actually get patched up. It's just so fuckng hard to stay cheerful and optimistic when the spirit wasn't even there to begin with and your teammates start to act like immature, bratty babies and don't give a shit just because things aren't going their desired way. If I wanted to let go and not care, I would've done it a long time ago. Why should I keep on enduring all the shit my parents give me for getting myself involved with all that's happening and not carrying out my responsibilities as a student and start working on my add maths? That's the problem, people always think that there are people to pick up the shit they leave behind and think they can just slip back in like nothing ever happened when things start getting smooth again. When are we actually gonna grow up, put aside all that immaturity and start acting responsibily?

I hope a good night's sleep takes away some of this shit. All that 'all talk and no action' attitude really pisses me off to no end.

Silver Spoon

Ooh. New series from Hiromu Arakawa! Finally, something nice to read.

It's the sick season now. I'm sick, my friends are sick, my dog is sick, everyone's sick.

I bought Delirium. Woots. Now, to save my pocket money for Desires of the Dead and The Throne of Fire hardcover edition. Should take action fast though, hardcovers are hard to find, and yet MPH has it!!!! Huzzah! but I should probably read The Body Finder before actually buying the sequel (ie Desires of the Dead). Meh.

Lack of writing posts has resulted in my inability to write a longer and more interesting post. I apologise for that. Time hasn't really been on my side much, but since when had it been anyway?

baaaacck

from KL.

Exhausted. Tired. Gah. Many things happened. Due to exhaustion I'm just too lazy to write out whatever happened in KL.

But in the end, AT LEAST I got this (as a sign of comfort, even though it is not the hardcover edition, sadly and most regrettably):

Score.

Now, to wrap it and then read it. After a good night's sleep. In my own bed. With my own cuddly pillows. That is.

zzzzzz.

it's June already.

half a year has flown by.

i ask myself.

am i ready to fight, and stay steady?

the outcome is clear.

no. i think i'll die.

TO BE WATCHED.

SUMMER WARS.





I know, the Japanese trailer is crap weird, while the English one looks much better without audio because Yuri Lowenthal sucks voicing the character there for some reason (he was much better in Tales of the Abyss and Ben 10 Alien Force), but I heard this was a hit in Japan. And tissue paper was mandatory when watching the show.


THE GIRL WHO LEAPT THROUGH TIME.



The film looks better than the trailer. At least, that's what they say. Which I hope is true. And I heard tissue was again a must for this show.


However. This (below) looks much better. Even without the audio (the blasted speaker was not working) it stirred something inside me. I stopped halfway though because it was just so darn good. And it was spoiling too much a bit for me. MUST WATCH AFTER THE MOVIE.

Exhausted. After several weeks of unrest and unpeaceful sleep and constant war with exams, I am rewarded with two weeks of holiday. Well, at least, if that doesn't work out (i.e mum's constant nagging for me to study my ass off) I still have a few nights' peaceful sleep until school reopens and I face the horrors of my result.

I'm surprised at myself today. During Lit, it was like something inside of me had exploded and I felt the words just coming to me like water, and I just wrote and wrote furiously, until I realised I had plenty of time and slowed down to a much more comfortable pace and finished my paper, doing every question and tackling them the best I could. Moments like these are rare, and I doubt I would actually forget moments like these where the joy and passion for writing and reading just seem to flow inside your blood. It sort of makes up for the times when I wished I never took the subject.

So, I guess it's times like these that I feel it was worth enduring all the late-night studying and stressful times, just for that two and a half hours of inspiration explosion. :)

Will post a list of what I plan to do during the holidays. And a list of books that I intend on buying. Mum's thinking of signing me up for the Celcom iPhone package thingy. It's expensive. And the amount of what we have to pay (even though it's cheaper than the usual) can buy me twice or thrice the amount of books I have in mind to get my hands on (SARAH DESSEN'S NEW BOOK. ALL YOU LUCKY BITCHES WHO LIVE NEAR KINOKUNIYA/IN THE STATES COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS). So, decisions decisions. Should I trade? I want to. But is it worth it?




I AM FUCKING FREE.


For now.