it's June already.

half a year has flown by.

i ask myself.

am i ready to fight, and stay steady?

the outcome is clear.

no. i think i'll die.

TO BE WATCHED.

SUMMER WARS.





I know, the Japanese trailer is crap weird, while the English one looks much better without audio because Yuri Lowenthal sucks voicing the character there for some reason (he was much better in Tales of the Abyss and Ben 10 Alien Force), but I heard this was a hit in Japan. And tissue paper was mandatory when watching the show.


THE GIRL WHO LEAPT THROUGH TIME.



The film looks better than the trailer. At least, that's what they say. Which I hope is true. And I heard tissue was again a must for this show.


However. This (below) looks much better. Even without the audio (the blasted speaker was not working) it stirred something inside me. I stopped halfway though because it was just so darn good. And it was spoiling too much a bit for me. MUST WATCH AFTER THE MOVIE.

Exhausted. After several weeks of unrest and unpeaceful sleep and constant war with exams, I am rewarded with two weeks of holiday. Well, at least, if that doesn't work out (i.e mum's constant nagging for me to study my ass off) I still have a few nights' peaceful sleep until school reopens and I face the horrors of my result.

I'm surprised at myself today. During Lit, it was like something inside of me had exploded and I felt the words just coming to me like water, and I just wrote and wrote furiously, until I realised I had plenty of time and slowed down to a much more comfortable pace and finished my paper, doing every question and tackling them the best I could. Moments like these are rare, and I doubt I would actually forget moments like these where the joy and passion for writing and reading just seem to flow inside your blood. It sort of makes up for the times when I wished I never took the subject.

So, I guess it's times like these that I feel it was worth enduring all the late-night studying and stressful times, just for that two and a half hours of inspiration explosion. :)

Will post a list of what I plan to do during the holidays. And a list of books that I intend on buying. Mum's thinking of signing me up for the Celcom iPhone package thingy. It's expensive. And the amount of what we have to pay (even though it's cheaper than the usual) can buy me twice or thrice the amount of books I have in mind to get my hands on (SARAH DESSEN'S NEW BOOK. ALL YOU LUCKY BITCHES WHO LIVE NEAR KINOKUNIYA/IN THE STATES COUNT YOUR BLESSINGS). So, decisions decisions. Should I trade? I want to. But is it worth it?




I AM FUCKING FREE.


For now.

So while insomnia kicks in, this should have been the perfect chance for me to start studying my ass off for Add Maths, Bio and Physics, but no, I just had to give in to the temptations of the internet.

Darn. My resolve is weak. Bad.


Hectic month it has been, exams and such. Plus after exams I'll be pretty much working my ass off for the school magazine. Once I'm done with that, I think there isn't any much more to do. Except studying. And procrastinating.

I wouldn't be surprised if my results this time aren't really that good. Throughout this whole month, when I'm not studying or sleeping or eating or in tuition or on the road, my time is spent on the internet, reading and finding various ways to amuse myself to the point where I leave silly comments on people's walls on FB, something I have never done before. Still, I have to admit, it's like a guilty pleasure, you know? Like, when everyone's slaving over Chemistry I spent the whole afternoon on the net reading stuff (which turned out to be quite productive) and only started my revision at what, eight something nine at night? And I slept at ten something eleven?

Sometimes, I surprise myself.

My grades are self-explanatory. My family thinks I work hard, but in truth I'm just a bum who sits in front of the table doing my own things, never quite studying.

I guess I'm kinda frustrated at myself for letting them down, disappointing them.

I know. Self-pity is just a pathetic, shallow excuse. But I am allowed to be so sometimes, am I? Then when I decide it's enough, I'll just pull myself out of that shitty state and start moving on with life.

But for now, at least these few hours until the break of dawn, I'll just sit here and enjoy escaping reality while the whole world passes by.

While I was surfing the net and out of curiousity, I went searching for Where She Went book reviews (don't worry, I finished reading it days ago already). Nine out of ten reviews are raving, praising the book for its excellent portrayal of Adam and the story's flow, and of course, the raw emotions in the book. This I can't deny, I was touched by Adam's grief too. It's unavoidable that everyone compares it to its prequel If I Stay, saying that they liked Where She Went more.

Somehow this doesn't seem to be true for me. On the contrary, I loved If I Stay more. I don't know why. Wait, screw that, I think I know why. True, I don't deny that the emotions in the sequel is much more overwhelming, but somehow Mia's comeback and courage to live on in If I Stay seemed to touch me more. Perhaps it was the way the ending was written, because when I read the ending, I could practically just feel the emotions gush out as if I'm in the story itself, hearing non-exisent cello music, as if Mia's ears were mine. So... that was the plus point I guess.

I've read many books that contained grief in them. Where She Went is one of them (Adam's grief after he lost Mia). But the best book I've read so far is hands down The Sky is Everywhere. In terms of grief, it surpasses so many books out there. Wait, scratch that, with or without grief it beats most books out there by miles. I want to say that it beats Where She Went, but I don't think I can for some reason. Both protagonists are musicians, both have lost someone dear to them (In different ways though), and both are dealing with it in their own ways. But the way The Sky is Everywhere was written just captured my heart the moment I read it. It's just too good a book to put down.

I'm not saying that Where She Went was bad, it's good! In fact, it's so much better than so many books out there on the shelves. And I've most definitely enjoyed it. :) If you've read If I Stay, you must read Where She Went. It's a package deal, you can't separate them. But if you haven't started on any of the above, start with If I Stay. It's such a great book that will rock your world to the very core. Then, if you can, read Where She Went followed by The Sky is Everywhere. Lenny's story definitely deserves a place in everyone's hearts.

Okay, rambling over. Goodbye.

i feel like an atm machine

So while everyone in the US is celebrating the awesome, much-anticipated release of Where She Went since three days ago, I am here, sitting down, fretting over homework, studies, school activities and trying hopelessly to juggle and balance them. Caught a few glimpses of reviews and such, and boy are they overwhelming and full of positivity! Gah! This has made me yearn for the book more! I should really focus on my exams and studies.