Important note: The following post contains offensive material and lots of swear words so if you're one unable to even look at those words you deem as 'ditry', I suggest that you switch to another page. Thank you for your cooperation, you've been warned.
Oh, and due to the length of this post as well as the time it has been posted, the grammar and spelling might have a bit of typos here and there.
Post start:
Don't take me for granted.
Seriously. I hate it when people do that. It's like you think of me as a piece of useless, crappy shit that is only useful when you need some of my 'shitty' qualities.
I repeat, don't take me for granted.
I'm not fucking born into this world just for your needs, or as you would quote it, my 'responsibilities'. I thank you very much for teaching me what my responsibilities are, but sadly, as time passes, I will gradually develop a mind of my own and thus, deciding what my own responsibilities are. I would appreciate it if you won't damn and list down what you think my responsibilities are. I can decide on my own, thanks.
For one, my resposibilities do NOT include doing the fucking brat's homework late in the night sacrificing my own sleep time.
And I'm not some kind of house chore slave to you where you don't even appreciate my efforts to please you and try to cope with the pressurizing possibilities that you might blow up and the whole family would be unhappy again just because you get pissed. I hope you know that you are very influential and thus, don't use that (even if it's unconscioiusly) to your advantage.
But even if I try to hard not to talk back, you still give out the feeling that doing house chores are necessary. I know it is, and I don't deny that it is one of my resposibilities as a member of this house but please, for fuck's sake just please do not tell me I DO NOT help around the house and that I just use the computer and go online all day long.
For your sweet information, I do not do that. If I did, I wouldn't be in there, trying to control my temper while trying to help the fucking idiot to do his homework. If I didn't care about anything, I would have been asleep and not hear what bad thoughts you had to say about me.
I know very well that I'm whining right now, but oh please, just because I'm the one that's done with PMR, it doesn't mean that I'll agree to be your personal slave that you can lash out no matter how unhappy you are.
God, you should learn to control that ugly and horrible mouth and temper of yours. Even when you didn't let me skip school, even if I was very and utterly upset, I did not give you a sour face and the evil glare to show my dissatisfaction. Instead, I'm proud to say that I shrugged it off and like always, consoled myself that there will be a next time for me to ask, and if not, I should not mind that I don't get to skip school.
Everyone around you (except for the freaking brat) is trying to adjust their activities, temper, time and whatever shit that are important to us just to try to make you and the fucking brat really happy so we won't have to go through another hell of a quarrel, so I hope that with that immensely dense brain of yours you get to realize how much we hope to at least get some rest and have a bit of freedom to do some of the stuff that we like without actually having to force ourselves to do your fucking bidding. And when you do realize it, I hope you will change for the better and stop making it so difficult for us.
Don't take me, as well as the others for granted. I swear, if you make me feel this way again, I will personally let you feel my wrath and even if you do start war against me when I do so, I will survive and no matter what it takes I will let you know that what you do is affecting us, me, at least.
Online 24/7 my ass. Fuck that bullshit, who was the one that tried to help you with the chores and push her playtime until night time up to like, midnight almost everyday? I'm know that this time slot is optional, and I can choose to just sleep instead of surfing the net, but sorry, I need the computer to regain my sanity, or you won't see me the way as I am in school now.
And I know that tiredness during daytime is what I have brought upon myself, but seriously, what is wrong with just not helping out for one fucking night and sleeping since half-past eight?! Don't I get my right to sleep?! Plus, you hang the clothes you have washed at like, what?! Ten or eleven at night?! I sincerely appreciate your efforts to help us wash our clothes that we need to wear but seriously, the time slot you chose is when people want to sleep. For me, sleep is something very important and everyone has the right to choose their own sleeping time. It might not be important to you but for everyone else who has had a busy day, they just want some rest.
I know you might have had a busy day too with all your work but not all people are the same. You're a workaholic (which explains your demanding nature) but we're not. And everyone's opinion differs, so I'm not forcing your reader of this post to agree with whatever crap I say, I'm just ranting out my feelings.
But honestly, what is wrong with sleeping?! If you're so pissed at my not helping you, you could just beat the shit out of me and wake me up until an earthquake arouses and pull me out of bed to help you. You want me to help then don't give those lame shit about what 'you think the others will let me disturb your sleep meh?' or whatever shit they say. You want me to help, you say it to my face and not try to become some kind of lonely hero of the day and mope around saying 'you didn't help me, how could you?! This is your responsibility now that the maid's not around and....' and whatever crap you have in mind.
I know you might say, 'oh, it's because I love you so I let you sleep' and all that pretending to a hero speech. Oh please, don't. ever. say. that. You wanna let me sleep, you shut up and don't ever utter a word about me not helping you. You let me sleep with your own consent and acknowledgement, so stop being so pissy and contradicting. not that you can't be contradicting (I'm like that too most of the time) but for some other stuff, it's just clear and simple. It's just very simple, either you let me sleep and shut up or you drag me out of bed and tell me to help you.
A few weeks ago, around the time PMR has ended and the chores have started...
'If you wanted my help you could've just pulled me out of bed,'
'Aiyah, you think they bear to let me pull you out of bed meh? I love you what, so let you sleep lorh...'
Okay.. fine, point taken. Now let's look at this morning's scenario.
'Hah! Never help with the house chores then go to sleep so early?! Eh, you finish PMR already eh, you have more free time so you should help wan okay? And then you go sleep some more, haiyo, you no need to help with the house chores wan ar? There are so many more friends of yours out there who even have to help to do more stuff than you, and you go and sleep?!"
and bla bla bla.
What the fuck.
Okay, I acknowledge the fact that there are people who do have to help with lots more stuff but oi, if you tak puas hati, you can just tell it straight to my face that you don't want me to sleep until you're done with all the chores.
I know it's my fault that I didn't help you, but seriously, can't someone just rest for a while?!
After all that, you reader must think that I'm a very petty person who rambles only about her rights. Sorry, I just needed to vent.
I'm hurt that you wouldn't even say a 'thank you' to those who have helped you. Okay, you do sometimes, but that will have to depend on your mood regardless to say. Oh, and when you're angry, you yell and squawk like a parrot like there's no tomorrow at anyone that doesn't do what you want. God, will you just stop those immature acts of yours?! The world does not revolve around you, and I think that you are really fortunate that we are trying our best to tolerate and cooperate with you. I just hope that one day you will appreciate whatever we do for you to try and make your life easier. (Well, maybe you do, but god, you don't have to yell at us for every small mistake we make.)
I swear for the second time in this post, if you take us for granted one more time (regardless of whether it's PMS or whatever bullshit lame excuse there is for you) I will make it my personal mission to give you hell. I'm sick of you always unable to hold your temper back. I know you do at most times now, but seriously, besides the fucking brat, you're emotionally instilling fear into every one of us. And I repeat I'm getting sick of it.
And FYI, stop complaining about how to world sucks for you. The probable cause for your so-called sucky world is yourself, and I hope that if it is, you reflect inside yourself and see what mistake have yuo done to cause all your 'mishaps'.
BTW, the world sucks for everyone, not just you alone.
I'm really hurt for what you did to me just now. I know I might not be as tired as you are, but seriously, asking me to do the brat's homework into late night?! And asking me to write down the answers and let him copy?!
Oh Kami-sama, I ask this of you, did we ever ever have this kind of privilege when we were at his age? No? Exactly. No matter what the problem was, we tried to solve it ourselves, and no matter how much we didn't want to go to school just because we didn't finish our homework in time, we still had to do so. The most we got was our family's moral support and the lecture about bad time management.
And just now, I didn't even see it happening to the brat. Instead, he received a nice hug and a few consoling words after showing his verge of crying state and went into sleep dead mode while we, the ones at the sidelines, got it.
I know that I told you guys to go get some rest (I know it's my responsibility), but seriously, shouldn't you like just let him face his own problems? Or at least tell me to get some rest too?! Isn't that basic courtesy?! Or have you now taken up the 'you volunteer arr? Okay lorh, everything throw for you to do' attitutde as well?!
Fuck, I've received this kind of attitude a lot from school so please drop that attitude if you're infected with one.
Hell, this is just shit.
I'm just really hurt that you wouldn't really care about our feelings, and that you act as if helping him to do his homework and much more other stuff is a necessary to keep the family harmony going.
Fuck that. Even if you were still very sleepy right then, you really shouldn't have done that. Everyone else is just as equally tired as you are, and don't give me that 'oi I do the housework for all of you and no matter how reluctant I am to do so I still do, so that makes me more tired than everyone of you all' shit. Duh. Everyone else has their own problems to face and cope with, so don't just assume that you're the most 'kelian' person. To me, right now, even if you deny it, you're unconsciously seeking for attention.
Well, I don't blame you. Who doesn't? Even me, right now, writing this, I am maybe also seeking for attention.. It's all nature, but I just can't stand the way you hint at people to say that whatever you do you did it reluctantly.
Suck it up will you?
If you want me to be straightfoward, I can just tell you how reluctant we are to constantly allow you your space while we have to sometimes throw all our rights to voice anything out of the freaking window.
'I'm doing it all for you all!!! You all don't appreciate my efforts to let you all live so comfortably meh?!'
We do, just that you sometimes overdo it. Do you ever appreciate ours?
Gah, this whole thing is just so... gah. I'm just really disappointed at that attitude you displayed earlier on. Even though I sometimes would have different opinions to yours, but I still respected you. Right now, I can say that it decreased a lot. Why am Isurprised that sis doesn't even really bother anymore?
So, all in all, do not take me and the others for granted. Instead, I just hope that you appreciate what has been done for you and not let it waste, because when everyone starts to not both about it and leave, you'll be alone. And at that time, it's no use regretting and wishing you had a second chance.
