29.02.2012

Once every four years.

Today was a hectic day, everything passed by in a blur. And it's one of my not-so-good days where I get irritated very easily and everything never seems to work out.

I'm just thankful I have the internet to turn to in my times of sorrow and sadness.

Even getting on Tumblr is annoying because there are so many distractions here, there and everywhere and the line is being a bitch. Shit, we missed the chance to upgrade to unifi. Great. Just great.

Whatever, I'm going to bed early. The Chemistry test sucked like shit, and God knows where the heck my brain goes to whenever it's needed. Maths test is on next Wednesday, our teacher just dropped the bombshell on us like it's no big deal when it actually covers the whole of Statistics. And Physics test is on the first day we come back to school after the holidays, five freaking chapters. Swell. Mr. Kung better not give us any presents of doom tomorrow or we're all dead chicken. Biology is a killer, all those names we have to memorise... ugh. The school must've thought it was funny to gang up on us and watch us panic into a disarray of chaos. Little buggers.

Anyways, March is tomorrow. Which means it's a day closer to getting our SPM results. I pray and hope for the best.

Peace out.

Today has been... a not-so-good day. I don't know why.

I feel like I'm not happy. And I don't like it. But I just can't find the source of what's bringing me down. And I can't watch Super Junior variety shows to cheer myself up since the line sucks and the fucking videos take eons to load.

It's like I'm searching for something that I don't even know what it is.

what is happiness anyway?

My paternal grandma is here, in my house for a short stay, and I'm supposed to be downstairs looking after her but since she's sleeping, I'll just steal a few minutes to blog. BUT, I know it's bad, terrible, but just a few minutes perhaps?

I don't know, I knew since way long ago that aging into your late 50s and above is a very depressing matter, because you lose your strength and might not be able to take care of yourself as well as before. Such is my paternal grandma, she got thinner and more frail since the last time I saw her discharged from the hospital, and I used to wonder why her stomach was so huge until they found out there was a tumour in it. But it's many years too late we've found out, and we can't have an operation since she doesn't heal as well as before. I suspect it's been adding on to her weight, which makes her difficult to move around. She's in her eighties, younger than my maternal grandma but in comparison my maternal grandma is still stronger and can walk more.

It's so sad to think that next time I might be like that. Previously, she never needed any help in clothing herself after her bath, but today I had to help her. I'm not saying that it's bad, in fact, I think it's a good experience to be able to help the old especially my grandmas (after all, I did have an interest in nursing before). But to think that next time I would become so helpless like that... it's just saddening.

I cannot imagine our generation in old age, to be honest. We are used to technology, while our previous generation aren't (well, at least in Asia I suppose). I just can't imagine our generation as old grannies yet using the latest technology and stuff. Who knows what we will become in the future? I do hope that I'd be able to live well and take care of myself when I'm old, and die peacefully when I've accomplished my life goals and missions and not live to a very old age. It's unnecessary in my opinion, unless you have great things that you haven't done in life yet. Otherwise, I think it's just plain torture to sit there and not know what to do. I'd go senile for sure.

We should all treasure our youth. It doesn't come twice. I am grateful.

So, it's been four days since I've been online, and it's definitely a first in 2012 that I've taken a break from the internet. Previously I have went online every single day, until mum finally confiscated the stupid modem just because the brat started abusing the internet.

Annoying, I know.

BUT NEVER FEAR, SALVATION IS HERE~~~

Okay, I gotta start working on my Malaysian Studies assignment that's due on Monday. Tumblr and mail-checking will have to wait until next time. Or I'd probably just continue watching My Fair Princess series and recalling my childhood memories. It's what kept me sane throughout this whole internet-less week anyway.

See you when I see you.

Okay, so Super Show 4 Singapore Day 1 is starting like, in an hour or two, and I'm stuck here at home watching pictures of them on Tumblr or videos of them on YouTube while Singapore ELFs are gonna scream their hearts out in the Indoor Stadium.

Do our oppas proud Singapore ELFs! Let them have the time of their lives entertaining and doing what they do best and I'm sure you'll enjoy the concert 100 percent.

A few days ago I realised that if I REALLY REALLY got to go for Super Show 5, I WON'T BE SEEING YESUNG BECAUSE HE'LL BE SERVING IN THE MILITARY!! NO!!!!!!!! As scary as it is, the moment I thought of it I almost teared up, cos' it was too sad to not see my ultimate bias in a concert I could finally go to. Sigh, I told a fellow ELF but she didn't seem to share my sentiments. And that sort of made me a bit bummed (and annoyed) because whenever she talks about her biases I always listen and try as much as possible to give appropriate responses. Pfft.

But never mind, we are all in the fandom, so I'll just vent it here and let it go. The day Yesung enlists I hope I won't cry, it's embarrassing to cry when your family members are just so goddamned judgmental. Sigh. Two years, I will wait! I will wait until the day Super Junior becomes one again!

On a side note, I see lots of tweets and comments about Chris Brown's latest remark after winning a Grammy. I know he went through shit (though it is his own doing anyway) but today I listened to his new song and I have to admit, he really makes good music. But that cocky attitude still pisses me off. Can't he just be contrite and let all those negative feelings go away? *shakes head* Rihanna moved on, so should he.

But I still stand by my music principles, you can hate the singer or band but you can't discriminate their songs because of that or an equally immature reason.

Peace out.

#401: 13.02.2012

I've shed my old shell away and am in transition into becoming an adult.

Too bad I can't sit on another plane to the US where they have later time zones and say that I'm 17 again. XD

Thanks to ZW, Sitoh, SH and JY for giving me such a lovely, wonderful present! And WM, Cassan, ML and JW for the yummy slice of Oreo Cheesecake!!

Great days like that are hard to come by now, hence I will treasure them always and remmeber them for as long as I can.

I'd like to write a longer post about all the emotions I'm feeling right now, but my mum just somehow hates me for using the internet on weekdays lately. She thinks it's a crime to be so free on school days and assumes everyone must have homework even though I have finished mine in school (I'm a good girl thank you very much).

Don't even think I have time for Tumblr. Darn. Sigh.

Never mind, now that my friends have given me Super Junior related stuff for my birthday, I don't have to go online to ogle at them anymore, though I try my best to make it my everyday chore. Super Junior fighting!

Just got off the phone with Charlene, and I definitely felt better after talking, even though I can't say everything on my mind cuz' I had that eerie feeling my mum was lurking around in a corner. :/

My gosh, maxed out after replying all those Facebook birthday wishes! Thanks y'all!!!! It's only once a year I have notifications bombarding my inbox, so I don't mind.

It took me more than an hour ++ to finally get this blog post almost done. And right now the notifications don't stop coming, but I am thankful, because it means people are concerned of me! Thanks guys!

Okay I give up tumblring for today, I'll go on tomorrow when I can get peace. Sigh.

See you when I see you. Toodles!

So....

This is my 400th post, and it's already February, and today is my last day as a teenager before I transition into adulthood/adolescence. Oh well, what can I say? It's life, we age, we grow, we die.

I've been away from my blog too long, but not because I didn't have anything spectacular to blog about, but because the emotions I've experienced lately have been quite negative, and I didn't want something depressing for such a special occasion. But I'm getting better now, just that I realised (or should I say finally accepted?) that I'm being too contradicting as of late, because there are things which I seem to not care any longer and yet focus more on other particular matters.

But I don't want to say what those matters are, because it is quite personal. Perhaps some other day when I finally get a private blog. Sigh.

Tumblr has become an everyday obsession lately, and my Yesung tag is being abused by me. But let's face it, who can deny what makes them happiest the most? Humans crave for happiness, whether it's right or wrong or being looked down upon. I don't give much shit about people's opinions anymore, so I suppose it's good because friends should accept me for who I am, not who they want me to be.

Hence, don't be surprised if I suddenly swear out of the blue, it's what I do when I'm alone anyway (especially when I'm driving and some idiot drives at 40 kph on the right lane where it is universally known as the fast lane).

Was planning on doing a Yesung spam today since tomorrow is a school day, but it's kinda late now so maybe next year? Or whenever I'm free. Tumblr is a really great place to find and look at nice pictures and photos, be it inspirational, pretty pictures or Super Junior ones. Hehe.

I saw a joke on Tumblr before that goes like this: 'When I turn 18 I'll jump on a plane and fly to a country with a later timezone so I can be 17 again. Fuck yeah.' Meme style. LOL. You know, movie reference? 17 Again starring Zac Efron (I think that's his name)?

I've been slacking too much in school compared to last year. But I keep telling myself that once SPM results are out I'll start getting serious, but would it be too late then? Would I be able to catch up? I do hope so. And then there's that possibility that I'll move to a different class, and then circumstances get stickier and oh gosh so many things might happen so I guess it's best I don't think about it right now.

Tired. I wish I could stay at home everyday and just look at pictures of Yesung or watch DVDs or long TV series like F.R.I.E.N.D.S and don't give a single damn. Complicated lives are such a hassle. Sigh.

To brighten up my day- no wait, it's already night time! Okay, rephrase; to brighten up my spirits, I shall post a picture or two of my current obsession, KIM JONGWOON. BWAHAHAHAHA.

Okay, disclaimers first. I don't own a single picture, and credits are as tagged. And so, without further ado, may I present you YESUNG (KIM JONGWOON) OF SUPER JUNIOR:

Okay, I've finally done my first Super Junior/Yesung pic spam, and this will be the first and last time I do it on my blog, more to come on Tumblr~~ Ah, so happy now, I feel much better and all that sadness I felt just now has disappeared. :333

Once again, I don't own all those pictures. They belong to their respective owners who took the time and effort to post them online. A huge thank you to them!

Good night, will write again tomorrow, and the 29th of February, since it only comes once every four years.

Toodles!