It's all thanks to my team, really. Those moodmakers with endless random comments that pop out of nowhere and take us all by surprise. Without them, my camp experience would be vastly different I think I wouldn't even enjoy it as much as I do now. Talent time preparation started off okay for me, the getting-to-know-each-other stage and all, then towards the actual camping day I started to dread practices because it took up a lot of time and I really got phobic of staying back to finish up projects and stuff after last year's experience. Plus informal rehearsals always land exactly when lunch breaks end and me being a punctuality freak, well, it really wrecked my nerves.
But the two days of camp really changed my mind. I think our team bond is extremely strong, except for me. I feel bad for not being able to contribute more like how other people do. Especially today during our last game. I felt really helpless because everyone had a role and I had none, and that made me feel really left out I suppose. I can't make funny jokes, the stuff I say are lame (no one seems to laugh), and all I can do is draw and help design stuff but compared to others teams I'm still lacking a lot. So on the bus back to college I was pretty much just dwelling in the lowest pits of emotions and occasionally laughing to Mr Lim's awesome and hilarious Fantastic Baby dance.
But, lunch made up for it. We had our last meal as a team and the jokes really made me laugh my ass off I don't think I ever laughed so hard during mealtimes before. Really gotta salute the moodmakers. I think our table atmosphere was the best out of all and it was, indeed, a happy meal! I think I 'laughed till I was full' instead of 'ate till I was full'. Truly awesome. Selfish as I maybe for saying this, but when I look back I think happiness was really the most important thing instead of contribution. I'm not saying that contribution isn't important. It is. But let's just say even if I were to contribute a lot to a group yet didn't feel happy at all it would've been pointless.
Contribution is important yes indeed it is, but enjoying the whole camp is too. I did contribute to my team, but I just feel that in terms of physical games like sandcastle-building and the item game I really didn't help at all. And it's just sad because it made me feel like maybe, maybe I'm really not that important to the team and that they don't like me.
That's the thing about strangers. You don't know their opinion of you and so you create barriers and ground limits as to not invade personal space and stuff.
But that's just my self-esteem issues
Thank you Brown Team! Wouldn't want to be in any other team but Team Brown!
